The Crazy Life

Valentine’s Day

2012-02-14T20:54:00.001-08:00

This year Lincoln was invited to his very first Valentine’s party! We were so excited to go meet new people and hopefully make some new friends.

We made Lincoln airplane valentines. He loved them and enjoyed handing them out to all his little future friends.

Everyone made bags to hold the treats. Lincoln cut out the paper and taped it on. A beautiful piece of artwork. Yummy! He sure did get some tasty treats. The rest of the day went perfect:

Scott bought me a beautiful bling necklace that he had to hide from me for the past week

Grandma Roberts brought us over lots of candy and treats

I ate an entire box of chocolates

We had our favorite dinner

And sat on our butts

Goodbye Idaho. Hello Washington.

2012-02-13T11:46:00.001-08:00

Two weeks ago we drove 12 hours to our new home in Washington. After a few days we got all settled in and started our new lives here.

People keep asking me if I am homesick or depressed and I can’t help but show a little attitude when I answer. No I don’t exactly want to be here, but I am not crying in my bedroom feeling sorry for myself. That’s just dumb. Everyone acts like I'm never going to see my family or friends again. I didn’t die! I didn’t move to the end of the earth! We are going to visit my parents in two months and most of my siblings I only see about once a month or less anyways.

The only thing I have missed so far is Idaho. I am not use to winding roads or hills and it makes me want to vomit whenever I am in the car. We drive up a mountain to get to our home and if there was any ice on the road it would be impossible to get up. All the trees make me feel incredibly claustrophobic and I hate that I can’t see where I am. Trees should be in the distance, not on top of me! I hate how the skies are always cloudy and that it rains every single day here. Yes, Idaho was freezing cold but there were lots of blue skies and sunshine. I don’t even know why I bother to straighten my hair, with the humidity my hair is constantly frizzy and if the humidity doesn’t get it the rain does. Yet I know I will adjust and eventually I will hate how flat and ugly my old town was, but for now I am missing it.

As for life here, it basically feels like life in Idaho. I do mom and wife things. Go for walks. Eat. You get it. Although, now that I am not working I get to spend every minute with Lincoln and I love it! Also, with Scott’s business I only spend a few hours a day away from him.

Our Apartment has been a huge adjustment for me. I was spoiled in my old house. As soon as we were done packing I decorated the entire house and that helped a lot. A house can’t be a home until you make it one. We are only going to be here until June, but I wasn’t about to live with naked walls.

I do Love my kitchen! It has lots of counter space and is huge.

Lincoln has become an extreme mommy’s boy. I love it! He won’t let Scott do anything. We were in the store and I was the only one allowed to push his cart. Only I can sit by him on the couch and every thing I do he is right by my side doing it with me.

Anyways, we are alive and well. Life is good and we are more than happy.

Potty Training

2012-02-06T21:14:00.001-08:00

Now that we have settled down, I decided to start potty training Lincoln today.

Last time I tried was a year ago. It was horrible. He about lost it and had no idea what I was trying to make him do. I felt this social pressure that my child needed to be potty trained by exactly two, or else I was a lazy crappy parent. So stupid!

I decided to wait until he showed signs of being ready. Being a working mom, I kept putting it off. How was I suppose to potty train my child while I was at work? Now that I can stay home with Lincoln, I went for it.

Last week I was giving him a bath and he stood up while holding his peepee and whined, “I’m done! I want a diaper”. I had just put him in the bath tub and was not about to take him out. A minute later he was peeing outside the tub and I could have smacked my idiot self for not understanding him.

That was when I knew he was ready!

Fast-forward to today. I took off his diaper and told him to tell me when he had to pee. About ten minutes later he said he had to. I set him on the toilet. Nothing. Every three minutes he would whine to go potty and I would set him down. Nothing. After the sixth time, I turned on the water to relax him and tadah! He went pee! Definitely a very happy moment for me.

And that was that. When he had to go, he would tell and I would help him on the toilet. He didn’t have a single accident all day, not even during his nap. He even told me when he had to poop and didn’t struggle at all with it.

I know there is still a long ways to go, but honestly this has been so easy! I have heard horror story after horror story, and thought I was going to have to follow him around like a hawk. But nope. He basically potty trained his self. All I did was take off his diaper!

I can even say he potty trained before he was three ;)

Papa’s and Daddy’s

2012-01-15T15:11:00.001-08:00

Lincoln has his way of things and there is simply no way to convince him to change his mind.

Since he could talk all old people are called, “papa” and it doesn’t matter if their actually grandmas or not even his grandparents. If you’re old, you’re papa.

We recently have been trying really hard to get him to call my mom “grandma”, but he won’t have it.

Last week he was whining for, “papa”.

“Do you want grandma or papa?” I asked.

“I want papa!” he cried.

“You want papa? Or do you want grandma?” I was hoping he would start separating the two.

“I want bigger papa” and that was that. He now is very specific about who he wants. My mom is “baby papa” and my dad is “bigger papa.”

But it doesn’t end there. I have lost the title of “mom” altogether. I am now “baby daddy” and Scott is “big dad”.

All parents are dads. All old people are papas. And all kids smaller than him are babies.

It just makes me laugh for now. He better figure it out or when he gets to kindergarten and announces he has two dads and two papas, teachers are going to be very confused.

I AM............PREGNANT!!!

2012-01-13T13:44:00.001-08:00

Yay! I am pregnant! I was so excited when I found out a month ago that we told all our close friends and family, but after a safe ultra-sound and a strong heartbeat we are ready to share it with the world!

I want to document my pregnancy like I did with Lincoln, but I know everyone isn't fond of belly pictures so......I created a blog! I love being pregnant, so why not share it with those interested and curious? It will have weekly updates and random thoughts and feelings on pregnancy. Anyways, I will continue updating about our life on here, but if you want to know more about my pregnancy go here: perfectpregnant.blogspot.com or click on it under my blog list and follow it or whatever!

Ostridge Eggs

2012-01-05T09:49:00.001-08:00

This past weekend we moved out of our house. Everything went well and I handled it all surprisingly like an adult. Soon I was at my parents house. I hadn't shed a single tear. Well that was until I was standing naked in my room after a hot bath and realized my dresser had been packed away in a trailer and now was in another state. It wouldn't be a big deal, except it had ALL my underwear, pajamas, socks, undershirts and even my bras in it.

I cracked my door and started screaming down the hall to my parents, "I have nothing to wear! I don't even have a bra!".
My mom came to my rescue, she offered kind words and found me some pajamas to wear while my underwear washed.

My dad attempted to console me too, "just wear your mom's bra" he said.

"Were not the same size!" I glared.

"I have some ostridge eggs you could fill the cups with" he stated seriously.

I think I would have been more offended, but I was too busy wondering why my dad has ostridge eggs.

Singing at Church

2011-12-11T13:39:00.001-08:00

Today I went to church with my mom. Lincoln did okay through most of it, and by okay he only had to get a drink twice, threw his socks and shoes once and didn't attempt to remove his pants at all.

After two hours, we all stood up to sing the last song. As soon as we began singing Lincoln yelled out, "No! Not this song! No!" and he pointed furiously to the front.

I tried to quiet him down, but every time I would try singing he would yell, "STOP! I wanna go home! Stop!".

I finally sat down by him and he yelled at me pointing at my mom, "papa is singing!". He didn't want anyone singing.

I don't think they could have picked a longer song. My poor child was acting as though the end of the world was here, yelling, "stop" and "no more" every few seconds. My mom stopped singing too in an attempt to calm him down.
Eventually the song ended and Lincoln stopped shouting out.

We left quickly. I'm just glad church is only once a week.

Dear Anonymous

2011-12-09T14:05:00.001-08:00

Dear Anonymous,
I loved reading your comment. I loved it so much that I deleted it instantly. It did make me realize that people worry too much about what other's think about their child. In my mind, my son is perfect just the way he is. I love him so much! When he was away from me for two weeks and I finally got him back, I sat on the couch holding him and cried for fifteen minutes because I missed him so much. Everything I do, as a parent, is what is best for him.

Now here is my rant:
Let me clarify some things for everyone, but mainly Mrs. Annonymous. First of all my son is two. Two! There is nothing "wrong" with letting him play in my makeup, with fingernail polish, with dolls or whatever "girly" item he decides is interesting at the time.

Next, let me get all educational on you. What toddler would not want to play with fingernail polish and make messes? It is completely natural! It has been proven that if you do not allow your boys to play with "girl toys" they will begin to think there is something wrong with them. If you tell them they can't play with dolls because it is weird, they will think they are weird. It is much more harmful to your child to not allow them to play with certain toys because of your own insecurities and fears.

Next, it is "wrong" to tell your child that they can't do certain things because the world has put a freaking label on it!

Last, if Lincoln wants to paint pictures with my polish, then I will let him. If he wants to shoot balls in the hoop, I will let him. If he wants to get in my makeup, I will let him. If he wants to drive cars around, fight with sticks, hold a baby doll, sing, dance, pray and read his books, I WILL LET HIM. I know what is best for my son and as long as it healthy, safe and appropriate I'm going to let him.

Anyways, that is my opinion on the matter!

On a side note, I really do love comments and appreciate people's opinions. There is definitely a fine line between having an opinion and being nasty. No one can tell you how to parent, I think if you are raising your child with God in mind, you are probably doing a good job. :)

Heather

All about Lincoln

2011-12-04T17:57:00.001-08:00

All About Lincoln

When trying to feed Lincoln broccli he told me, "no more trees mom".

The other day he came crying to me that his paintbrush had "boogers on it" and spent twenty minutes scrubbing it in the sink. It was just paint.

Has claimed my bed as his. I told him to get in his own bed, so he pointed to my bed and said, "this my bed, you sleep in that room" and pointed to his room.

He turns teenager on me and shouts, "Get out of my room!" when he needs privacy.

When he is sad he says, "I wanna go to mommy's house" and is very specific about which house.

He carries a puppy with him everywhere and named it, "kitty".

He has been sick lately and whenever he doesn't want to do something he points to his forhead and says, "I sick". He knows he can get away with anything if he plays the sick card.

He was playing in my makeup and put on my bronzer and said, "Mommy, I tan and cute". I almost died laughing. How does he know the word "tan"?

I was getting Lincoln ready for church and said, "Don't you want to go to church?".
He looked and me and began crying, "I don't want Jesus".

We were sleeping in my bed and I heard noises that scared me. I was sitting up and he woke up and said, "mommy okay?" I told him I was scared. He said "Not scary. Mommy here". Made me realize I have to be brave for him and suddenly I wasn't scared anymore.

That's all! Just wanted to remember how cute my lil boy is!

Reinvention of "Pretties"

2011-11-29T09:11:00.001-08:00

Breakdown

2011-11-28T22:55:00.001-08:00

Blogging is that one thing where I go to release my stress. I try not to be too open, but sometimes it helps to be honest.

It seems like this past year has been trial after trial and I have been positive throughout the entire process. Well as positive as I can be. I'm just tired. Tired of miscarriages, tired of medical bills, tired of the economy. Tonight as I was fighting Lincoln into his pajamas, I began crying. It was more like bawling. I don't know if I have ever cried so hard. It was like this build up of tears that I finally let go. The biggest reason, well besides the fact that I am alone with Lincoln, is because I have to move. Move out of our beautiful house and into my parents and eventually after several months to a completely new state. I will spare you the details, due to wanting to end without a bunch negativity and also because I don't really know the details. That is the hardest part, not knowing the details. I always have planned out everything and now I don't know where I will be next week. More than anything I need a moment to feel bad for myself. A moment to be selfish and question God's motives. It will all work out in the end and I know it will get easier here shortly, but if anyone wants to join me for chocolate and "The Notebook" come on over! I'm sure we can complain about our lives together.

If anything I hope this post makes everyone realize I am human. My life isn't perfect, I freak out, cry, act crazy, make mistakes and wish for more. That is the beauty of being human, if life wasn't bitter sometimes I would never realize how sweet it is most of the time. I will feel better tomorrow, I just needed my monthly break down.

Every Lil Boy's Dream Room

2011-11-27T21:05:00.001-08:00

Baby Room

Big Boy Room

Twilight.....again

2011-11-22T09:32:00.001-08:00

I went to "Breaking Dawn" opening night with my friend Katie. I have mixed feelings about the entire thing. It is like this strange addiction I just can't kick. I hate the movies with a passion, yet every year I find myself standing in line with a bunch of giggling girls and shamefully I am giggling along with them, blending in perfectly. This year we made shirts to support our love for Jacob!

But how was the movie?
Well besides the incredibly awkward sex scene and the horrific birth scene, it was okay. I cried, which has never happened. Usually, I am sitting in my seat fighting back laughing at the terrible acting.

Oh wait! I did cover my face and bite my jacket in an attempt to quiet my laughs at this wolf talking part. It was SO weird! Wait until you see it and you will agree.

Another movie down, only one left to go.
Here are my pictures of shame:

Oh and if anyone was wondering what happened to Lincoln, he was in Washington for a few weeks. Don't worry, he will be blogged about shortly.

Gray Hair

2011-11-17T10:28:00.001-08:00

Last night I had my sister do my hair. It is something I have been wanting to do for awhile, but have been putting off in hopes of my hair getting some health in it. I went back blonde. Try as I might, I just can't stay away from being blonde! I did last ten whole months as a brunette. Anyways, as she was doing my hair, she stopped and said, "Honey, you have gray hairs".

"What?! Pull them out, I want them." As she handed me a very white hair, I couldn't help but stare at it in awe, "I am old" was all I could say.

My hair:

Looks great doesn't it?

After my hair was done, at about one in the morning, I went out to my car to find I had been booted. Apparently parking next to visitor section, doesn't actually count as visitor section. Weird right? I wasn't even surprised. It was one of those days.

My sister loaned me her car for the night. As I pulled into my own driveway, I reached up to hit the button to open the garage. Only to remember that I was not in my car.

"Great!" I thought looking at my very locked up house.

I reached for my phone. It was dead. Not that it mattered, I really don't know who I would have called. I sat there for a minute weighing my options and decided to scope the house.

I was petrified at walking around my house this late at night! My house is creepy at night, it has a ridiculous amount of trees and is very dark and well.....it's just creepy! I kept jumping at every noise and thought for sure there was someone hiding in the bushes. Every single door was locked. Every window was too high up, and I knew was locked anyways. Then I saw the garage window, stashed behind a large bush. I climbed through the bush and felt around the window. It was a small opening, but if I could get it open then I could get in my house. There was a screen covering the glass, "stupid screen" I yelled smacking and clawing at its covering. I gave up and went on the look out for a stick. I found a nice sharp one and began beating furiously at the screen until it cut through. Once it was ripped I could tear it with my hands.

Next came the tricky part, jumping through the window sideways. I am pretty sure I pulled a few muscles and got several bruises in the process, but that is only because I am officially old.

My window

In the end, I blame it on the gray hair.

PARTY!!!

2011-11-13T16:40:00.001-08:00

My work threw a party for our top 100 customers. It was a BLAST! I got to dress up and give away pretty bracelets!

This is Katie and me. We were trying to look sexy, but I was laughing so hard that it was not possible.

Jeff, he reminds me of my dad. He is basically amazing!

This is all of us! Jeff is tying balloons to my dress, I had no idea.

Katie, Ricky, Justin(from another store), me, Jeff, Lisa (Tim’s wife), Adam, Tim and Aaron(from management).

Walking away like an idiot with balloons tied to my dress! Haha! Katie eating. I freaking LOVE this girl! She is the younger version of me and sometimes it scares me how much we are alike.

Overall, I love my job and feel blessed that I work with such amazing people that are some of my best friends! I think I might stick around for awhile……if they’ll have me.

Lincoln is 2 1/2

2011-11-11T11:53:00.001-08:00

I saw this on Pinterest and decided to copy it with the pictures I took of Lincoln.

Halloween festivities

2011-11-11T11:26:00.001-08:00

A straw maze with a random camel.

Dirt and Worms We went to “Boo at the Zoo” on the Saturday before Halloween.

Animals= Amazing

Free Candy=Yummy

Lots of cute costumes=Adorable

So you add them all together and what do you get?????

HORRIBLE!

Yep! You heard me, horrible! There were like 10 booths with candy that you stood in line for.

Sunday my mom threw a Halloween party. I decided to make pumpkin soup and cookies.

This is a picture of why I don’t cook. Look at that mess!

Pumpkin soup in a pumpkin!

Halloween!

I took Lincoln to my work to visit Katie. She thinks they are best friends, unfortunately Lincoln does not feel the same.

Next I took Lincoln to do some trick or treating at the movie theater where a ton of booths were set up. We definitely brought in the good stuff there. Then we went to our neighborhood. Lincoln was very serious about it all. He got his candy and was ready to walk to the next one. There was no time to laugh or smile.

We went with his cousins. Kolby was crying because it was so freaking cold, so at this door we were all very thrilled with the treat. Popsicles? “Here kid, I know you’re freezing, have a popsicle.”

Next we went to visit Grandma and Papa Jones to get our caramel apples. Mmmmmmm!

A whole bunch of adorable monsters.

Please don’t notice that Lincoln’s bucket is in fact an Easter Egg basket.

Happy Halloween!

Not Really Potty Training

2011-11-08T08:01:00.001-08:00

I haven't really tried potty training Lincoln yet, since the last catastrophe a year ago, but I have hinted and tested him here and there. After a few months of bribes, I have come to the conclusion:

Lincoln thinks he can outsmart potty training.

Exhibit A:
My sister is potty training her little boy Cohen. She gives him a treat if he goes potty and then she gives Lincoln one so he doesn't feel left out. Lincoln figured out how you get treats pretty quick. He isn't dumb.

He began telling Cohen to go potty whenever he was wanting a treat.

Exhibit B:
When he is at home, he understands that if he goes potty he gets a treat.

"I want a treat!" he says and he runs to the toilet, takes off his pants and sits on the seat. He then pushes his peepee down and makes some very realistic sound effects, "Ssssssssssss,". Next he hops off, grabs tissue to put in the toilet and flushes it.
"I did it!" he shouts and then holds out his hand for a treat.

And I give him a treat because he is downright brilliant!

If I wasn't changing diapers still, I would be fooled.

I'm Gonna...

2011-11-06T11:15:00.001-08:00

Lincoln is on a new kick where he tells me what he is going to do before doing it.

It snowed the other day and he looked at me and said, "I'm gonna get snow". He was wearing a summer shirt and no shoes. I attempted putting warmer clothes on him, but he wouldn't have it.

I shook my head, "If you want to freeze, go right ahead".

He opened the door and got himself a ball of snow along with red toes and a runny nose.

Later he told me he was "gonna fix his car" and went to get his tools.

Another time he grabbed a treat from the closet, "I'm gonna eat this treat," before shoving it in his mouth. It doesn't matter what it is, he tells me what he is gonna do and then he does it. Only two years and already avoids asking for permission.

So, when I was giving him a bath and he grabbed my razor and said, "I'm gonna....." I was interested in what exactly he had planned for my razor.

"What are ya gonna do Lincoln?" I questioned sternly. He KNOWS he is not allowed to touch my razor.

He smiled at me, "I'm gonna shave my legs".

"Nope, can't do that" I said grabbing the razor.

"I CAN! I'M GONNA SHAVE MY LEGS!" he screamed reaching for it.

He threw a good long tantrum and I had a good long laugh.

In fact I am still laughing.

Two

2011-10-26T10:34:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I worry about my son. I mean he IS already 2 1/2 and he still can't read. It seems like the only thing he is interested in is cars and toys. Which is just NOT acceptable (insert sarcasm).

Last night, while I was reading him his bedtime story, I kept asking him the colors of the trucks.
"What color is this truck?" I asked.

"Yellow green" he said.

"No it is red. What color is this truck?" I asked again.

"Yellow green," he said.

"No it is blue. What about this truck? If you can guess the right color you don't have to go to bed!" I bribed.

"Yellow green" he smiled.

"Ugh! It is blue again! Well how old are you?" I knew he could get this one.

He looked at me blankly.

I held up two fingers, "Are you this many?" I probed.

"Peace!" he said.

Well at least he will be cool in school.

Halloween Cookies

2011-10-25T10:38:00.001-07:00

Where’d My Cars Go?

2011-10-24T09:49:00.001-07:00

Lincoln was playing with his cars in the living room, while I was busy dusting under the piano.

“Mama? Where’d my cars go?” he asked with his hands in the air and his eyes wide.

“I have no idea,” I sighed still dusting.

“Mama! Where’d my cars go?” he asked loudly. I then began walking around the room peaking behind the furniture to find the mysteriously lost cars. They didn’t seem to be anywhere.

“I find them! I find them!” he screamed excitedly.

I turned to find him digging them out of his pajamas.

His new favorite place to hide things is in his pants or pajamas. It reminds me of Tommy off of the T.V show “The Rugrats”.

How to Have a Great Day Everyday!

2011-10-18T17:26:00.000-07:00

One thing you should know about me is I am a complete quote monster! I love inspirational quotes that pump me up and get me ready for the day. I recently finished reading, "How to Have a Great Day Everyday" by Steve Beck for the second time and it is stuffed full of inspiration and timeless quotes. It is a really quick read and leaves you with this positive fire. I LOVE IT!

I have always believed that happiness is a choice and his book's focus is on "you" and "your choice" to have a great day. I feel so happy and positive right now that I would feel selfish if I didn't share some positive thoughts from his book with everyone.

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self, "Aldous Huxley.

You can't change the world until you change yourself. Often we think that life would get better if "he" fixed that or "she" stopped doing this. When really, it all begins with ourselves.

Another way to have a great day is to appreciate the small things. Sometimes I find myself wondering when life is going to get easier or when trials are going to end, when I should be focusing on the small wonderful things that make my life so amazing! I have a home, money in the bank, a beautiful son, food, a job, an education and family that loves me! What isn't great?! Who wouldn't want to be me?!

Most importantly declare it! Yes, Steve Beck points out the simplicity of it, say it!

Today is a great day!

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:
"If you want success in your life you have to create it."

"Nobody else will make your life great. It is up to you."

"You will find happiness and satisfaction by doing your best every single day."

"Tomorrow's page is blank!"

So stop complaining and be happy! Life is great! I hear so many people complaining about "school" or their "job" and every time I want to say, "I don't think your job is the problem" because they complain about everything! I honestly love my job! I love the people I work with and feel so blessed that I even have a job.

Another thing he talks about is taking out the negative in your life, or as I would like to say, "take out the trash". Surround yourself with positive people who influence your life in the way you want to influence others. Recently, I had to make some changes in my own life and one of those ways was to surround myself with friends that were positive and reflect the type of person I want to be. When you're around people who hate their life, it is easy to find things to complain about too. Taking out the trash also involves getting over things in the past. We all have a past, we all have made mistakes, we have all gotten our feelings hurt by someone or something, but eventually we have to LET IT GO! We have to start with today and be happy TODAY! There is nothing more calming and relieving than forgiving someone and moving forward and sometimes that means forgiving yourself too. Just make sure YOU are the type of person people want to be around!

"The sun is always shining. Even though clouds may come along and obscure the sun for a while, the sun is always shining. The sun never stops shining. And even though the earth turns, and the sun appears to go down, it really never stops shining," Louise L. Hay.
I love this quote! There are going to be dark days, but that doesn't mean the sun has stopped shining. Give it time, things always clear up, but it is up to you to find the sun behind the clouds! If we look hard enough we can ALWAYS find something to smile about.

Lastly,
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose"
-DR SEUSS

and HAVE A GREAT DAY!

-Love Heather

Hotdog Spaghetti

2011-10-17T12:45:00.001-07:00

For dinner Lincoln and I stabbed spaghetti noodles into hotdogs.

Lincoln thought it was awesome and was flying them around like space ships.

When they were finished, we gobbled them up in a cream sauce. Mmmmmmmm!

I Need the Internet

2011-10-10T14:47:00.001-07:00

Yep, I do not have the internet. I do have it on my phone and that has always been good enough. Well, good enough for everything but blogging. That issue was easily solved, I do a post on my computer and then go outside and steal the internet off my neighbors. Totally wrong? I know, I know.

Well stealing was the solution until this morning. I had just finished a post on Lincoln and went outside to publish it.

Picture it:
I am wearing my pink bathrobe, no shoes, it is ridiculously cold and I am walking in the trees with my computer over my head looking for connection. After wacking limbs away and tilting my computer at the perfect angle I finally get connection! Of course at that exact moment my neighbor made his way outside. I stood there looking like an idiot for a brief second, debating over whether publishing this post was more impotant than my life, before making a mad dash back to the house. I am hoping he didn't notice.

All future posts may have to be done from my phone......or after the neighbors go to bed.

-Heather

Green Ghosts?

2011-10-04T19:46:00.001-07:00

Yesterday for family home evening we made ghosts for Halloween! I bought the tissue, string and markers and was ready to make adorable ghosts.

Then I opened the tissue box. They were green. Why did I buy green tissues?

We made them anyways, and I have to say they are much more scary than boring white ghosts!

Chalk

2011-09-23T15:05:00.001-07:00

Writing with chalk on sidewalks is somewhat AMAZING! I don’t know why, but scribbling all over the ground gives me this sense of complete bliss.

Lincoln should love it as much as me, seeing as he likes to write on my walls, but he doesn’t.

While I was busy working on a masterpiece,

Lincoln spent his time throwing every piece of chalk in the grass. Every piece! He even took the one I was using!

The next day I made liquid paint chalk instead! Brilliant idea!

It was a huge hit! We spent an hour painting the sidewalks and I don’t believe I will ever go back to dry chalk again.

Recipe:

2tbsp cornstarch, 2tbsp water, 3 drops of color.

Easy, affordable and messy fun! Try it, but you will be completely addicted!

Dream Vacation

2011-09-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

Prepare for a REALLY long post, lots of pictures, a few dumb facts and a lot of talking :)

We left for California on Friday and drove back a week later on Sunday. It was about a 14 hour drive and Lincoln didn’t cry at all. Thank the heavens!

Wind Surfing

This is something on my bucket list that I get to cross off! Yay! We spent over an hour going to a lesson Scott’s aunt hooked us up with. You wouldn’t believe all the stuff that goes into windsurfing.

Then we hit the water! It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Our teacher said I was his first student in his six years of teaching that never fell down their first day! I would like to take credit for my skills, but honestly the water was freezing and I refused to fall in.

Scott was his first student to ever ride with a child on front. Lincoln loved it, but then again what doesn’t this kid love that is outdoors?

After four hours of playing hard, we were exhausted!

Medieval Times

We went to Medieval Times with my parents. Lincoln wouldn’t take his eyes off the horses. I fed him and he never took a moment to even look at what I was shoving in his mouth.

We bought him a flag and whenever we would scream for our team he would raise his flag up and yell!

My mom was hilarious and kept booing the evil, green knight at really random times, which embarrassed my dad, but the Chinese people next to her thought she was pretty funny.

Disney Land

We spent 3 straight days open to close in Disney Land. Some people think my family is crazy, but honestly it was the best three days of the vacation and we still didn’t get to see every show and ride. It was great timing, the lines were bare or really short. We went with my parents, my brother Randy and his family and my sister Denell and her family.

Lincoln fell asleep from all the excitement!

These girls were my best friends. We stayed together the entire time and rode LOTS of rides! Of course, there was some fighting over who got to go with me, but it just made me happy ;)

These three were a little too short to go on all the rides so they hung out while the “bigger kids” took turns going.

Grandma bought Lincoln a bubble gun, which was just about the coolest toy ever!

While we were waiting to go to the Tiki Room, we watched this fountain spit out water. The kids thought it was hilarious.

These two got fed way too many sweets from Grandma. I mean way too many. By the end of the night they both went nuts and were running around screaming, tackling people, kicking, spinning circles and acting like dang psycho children. At one point Lincoln was rolling on the ground while laughing, haha!

We ate at this barbeque place that served bottomless ribs, chicken, beans, cornbread and cold slaw. OMG! It was delicious…. Mmmmmmmm. A must go to next time we visit Disney Land.

Rides

Favorites

Heather: Indiana Jones, Tower of Terror and Splash Mountain

Lincoln: Toy Story, Bumper cars and Buzz

Scott: Tower of Terror, Toy Story and Grizzly Rapids

Lincoln loved crashing into other people!

While we went on the rapid ride, Lincoln would stand here and get soaked!

Waiting to be splashed!

For Woody’s ride we wore 3D glasses and would shoot things to get points. Lincoln laughed the entire time. It really is amazing how detailed every ride is. The park has changed so much since the last time I came.

All the parents gave their kids to me because they can’t handle spinning. I can’t handle it really either…….

This picture cracks me up! We are in the bottom left corner. Lexi smacked Scott in the face when we dropped. He looks like he is going to cry, ahahahaha! I seriously can’t stop laughing when I see this picture!

Shows

For me, the best part of Disney Land is all the extra shows they put on.

Favorite Show:

Heather: Live Aladdin

Scott: A Bug’s Life 3D

Lincoln: The Muppets 3D

The place we ate at asked all the kids to go up and dance. Lincoln went up and stood there and smiled REALLY big. He didn’t do anything else. Denell’s kids actually danced.

I was so proud of him for going up there! And even though he didn’t dance, he sure put on a smile bigger than anyone else.

Lincoln loved the parade and I did too! He sat and pointed and stared.

Wishing the parade wasn’t over.

Waiting in the Tiki room. I think this room needs an update, it just doesn’t compare to the rest of Disney Land, but my mom still loves it, so we went.

Characters

Lincoln doesn’t know a lot of the classic Disney characters, but when he saw any from Toy Story he got extremely excited!

When he saw Lightning Mcqueen he ran up and started hugging him. I am not a big fan for the movie, but every little boy loves it, so I guess I will too.

They were checking out ever inch of this car!

We had to visit him two different days.

When Lincoln saw Mr. Potato Head he started bouncing up and down and saying, “Happy! Happy! Happy!”. This was outside his favorite ride.

When Lincoln saw Woody he ran as fast as he could to him, but once we got up there he was a little freaked out.

Build-a-Car

On the last night we went and bought toys! I got Jesse and Bulls-eye from Toy Story to go with Lincoln’s Woody and Buzz.

Then we went to build-a-car. Kind of like build-a-bear but way cooler. Lincoln picked out Lightning Mcqueen and we got to build it. We got the remote control style.

It was kind of expensive, but totally worth it! We can continue to upgrade it for birthdays, Christmas and when we go back to Disney Land.

Aquarium

We went to the aquarium in Long Beach. It was really neat, but Lincoln was done. He had to be carried the entire time.

The turtle, Nemo and Dori fish were his favorites.

Checking out Scuba Steve

It was fun to pet sting rays and sharks, but next time I want to go to Sea World.

Beach Time

Besides wind surfing, we went to the ocean two other days. Lincoln loved to run from the waves and Scott went boogie boarding.

It was the dream vacation we all have been needing! . I really, really miss Disney Land already :( but there is always NEXT TIME!

the end

Good job if you made it this far!

Life Can Change in a Week

2011-09-19T21:09:00.001-07:00

Last week my mom went to the doctor and they found a tumor in her uterus. The doctor told her she had a 50/50 chance of having cancer. Cancer, how I hate that word. The next day she went into surgery to have the mass removed and to get tests for cancer. The surgery went really well. I even got to spoon feed her some yogurt, I kept telling Lincoln grandma was a “baby”.

Maybe it is my childish tendencies, maybe I am naive or maybe I hope too much, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was not cancer. I knew it was just a benign tumor. I just knew it. I guess over the years of my mom taking care of me, I have envisioned her as invincible. Moms don’t get sick, especially my mom.

So, when my sister walked into my work today and told me mom has cancer, it seemed unreal.

I cried.

I called my family.

And I prayed.

It doesn’t seem real. Mom has cancer. My mom has cancer. I keep repeating it, but no matter how much I say it, it just doesn’t seem real.

Not just any cancer, my mom has Carcinosarcoma. It is an extremely rare cancer that is highly aggressive. She will begin chemotherapy in Utah at the beginning of October.

I don’t want my mom to be sick, I don’t want her to fight this battle. I want her to live to 192! That isn’t too much to ask, is it?

I feel blessed for the wonderful family I have. That we are all close and care so much for our mom. We are gonna help her fight and we are gonna make sure we win because Jones’ are awesome!

Life can change in a moment and sometimes it is out of our control and the only thing we can do is hand our lives over to God. We have all been praying and fasting over the past week for the results we wanted. No, we didn’t get what we wanted, but we will keep praying for the months that follow.

My mom is a beautiful, amazing woman and my heart aches that she has to go through the pain of cancer. Tonight, when she called to talk to me, it was her comforting me through my sobs. She kept saying, "I am going to be okay. It's going to be okay. I will be there for you because you're my baby girl." That is how selfless she is. I just kept bawling and telling her I was sorry. I am so scared. It is going to be a really hard year, but I know that it will bring my family even closer. Sometimes it takes sickness to make you realize what are the most important things in life.

-Heather

This Time I Proposed to Him!

2011-09-14T13:55:00.001-07:00

Last Friday, on September 9th, I proposed to Scott. It was exactly 5 years since the day he proposed to me. Awwwwwwwe! I bought the ring just a few weeks ago and couldn't wait to surprise him! We both have been ringless for awhile.

He was definitely shocked! I pulled out the box and asked if I could ask him a question.

"Will you marry me.....again?" I asked.

"I don't know, but that is a really cool ring" he said.

Not the reaction I was looking for, but I will take it! Now all I need is a ring on my finger: hint, hint.

Time for some real mushy stuff. You can all zone out now because I am about to express my overwhelming love for my Scott.

Dear Scott,
Now that you actually read my blog, I wanted to write my feelings for you. I want nothing more in life than to drive shopping carts around Wal-Mart together when we're old and bark at random people. That and maybe to die in our sleep together like in the "Notebook".
love,
Heather Drew

Smart Thief

2011-09-13T13:13:00.001-07:00

A few months ago I stopped using my debit card. It never swiped right and I felt bad making the cashier type in each number by hand. I used cash instead.

Well the other night Scott was looking over the bank statement and began freaking out...... I have a small spending problem, eek! He couldn't figure out why I was buying gas twice a week and groceries three times a week AND I was taking out money too.

I couldn't figure it out either, "I don't even remember going there! I thought I bought gas twice a month not twice a week!"

After much deliberation and mild frustration, I remembered I never used my card.

"Wait, none of these transactions are me! I haven't used my card in over three months!" I was so thrilled that I wasn't blowing all our money, "I don't even know where my card is," I huffed.

"Really Heather?" Scott asked looking at me and waiting for the light to go on.

"Oh crap!" I said, realizing my card must be stolen. I have been paying for someone elses groceries and gas.

I haven't even felt mad or angry, I am still in complete awe at how brilliant that theif is! Spending so little money in such common places it went un-noticed for three months. And I have to give him credit, he picked the perfect person to rob-ME!

All this time I thought I was eating and driving too much.

Singing and the Shoe

2011-09-09T21:32:00.001-07:00

Lincoln has this habbit of throwing stuff from his carseat to the front of the car. I am usually pretty good about removing all items, but yesterday I forgot to remove his shoes.

I was busy singing my heart out to some awesome music when Lincoln decided to be annoyed.

"STOP" he would scream, so naturally I would sing louder.

"NOOOOOOO! Stop mom!" he was near tears. I swear I am a gifted singer and haven't the faintest idea why he was so upset. I really couldn't resist the urge to sing even louder.

While he continued begging me to stop, I took a quick peek back to see his expression.

Whack!

Bad timing! He threw his shoe at the exact moment I turned. I nearly crashed the car. I had to pull over to control the tears that were brimming.

Turns out I survived. My cheek is a little sore and he took a good chunk of skin off with a single hit, but all is well.

As I was rubbing my cheek Lincoln kept asking, "Okay mom?". He felt awful about it. He is so protective of me and whenever I get hurt at all he gets so concerned.

I don't think he will be throwing his shoes anymore and I don't think I will be singing anymore. Well maybe not singing so loud ;)

Bugs for Breakfast

2011-09-08T09:28:00.001-07:00

As a mom, I try everything to get Lincoln to eat his meals. I recently developed a method that has been working quite fantastically.

Lincoln loves the movie “A Bug’s Life,” so for breakfast the other day I made him pancakes with chocolate chips and called them bugs.

“Lincoln, come eat some bugs!” I showed him the pancakes.

He picked at the chips and whined, “Eww, bugs dirty.”

“Not these bugs! Mmmmmmmm these bugs are soooooo tasty!” I said chomping on my pancake.

He took the bait and tried a taste, “Mommy! Bugs yummy!”

I was proud. Another successful meal eaten.

Today, he was playing outside when he saw some ants. He bent down real close to it and asked, “Mommy, yummy bug?”

Crap! I tried to explain to him that only the bugs in his food were yummy. His confused face made me realize I would need to try a new tactic.

It suddenly seemed slightly wrong that we call chicken “birdys,” ham “piggys,” and hotdogs “puppies”.

He is gonna start thinking it is okay to eat pets.

Heather

Blog Comments

2011-09-07T21:54:00.001-07:00

Just because I don't comment on your blog doesnt mean I don't read it.

I love to read my friends and families blogs, but the problem is that fancy wordproof thing they put on before I comment.

I can never get it right! I swear sometimes I put it in three or four times before I completely give up. It has gotten to the point whenever I see that stupid word verification, I start having anxiety. I must be overthinking it, because everyone seems to be commenting. Haley yours is the worst! I write big ol' long comments and then it deletes it.
What's the point of it anyways?
Is it to prevent drunk people from writing stupid stuff? I don't drink!

Whenever someone is around I ask them to read it for me so I can put it in right. My bank has one too and it is a nightmare. I must be blind. Stupid contacts, stupid eyes, stupid blogger.

Anyways, I just wanted ya'll to know I love you and commenting is a skill I haven't quite mastered. And the whole point of this post is to say I commented on like 10 people's blogs today and only 2 went through and I am really annoyed about it. So, here is a giant comment to ya'll:

Glad Matt is home. Looks like you had fun in school. Congrats on the baby. Your cat is cute. California looks awesome. Love baby blessings. Samantha is a little smarty. I hate coffee too, but the smell is to die for.

I hope that covered everyone,
Love Heather

Stylish Mommy

2011-09-06T16:41:00.001-07:00

I have always tried to avoid the “Mom Stereotype” image.

Mom jeans: I don’t wear them

Ponytail: Hair is not even long enough

No make-up: Not a chance

Giant over-sized diaper bag: I carry a purse

Tennis shoes: I totally wear high heels

I thought I had the image beat. Today we went to Wal-Mart, and as Lincoln and I were shopping, I started to get some funny looks and strange stares. Ignoring them was the best I could do, but I kept wiping at my face worried there was something there.

When I got to the register and began checking out, the cashier asked, “Is that your hat?”

I blinked at her slightly confused and slowly reached up to the hat I had subconsciously placed on my head.

“Oh,” I said, now understanding the strange looks.

Cool stylish mom, FAIL

Note to self: Next time Lincoln throws his hat on the ground, stick it in my purse and not on my head.

Jones Random Reunion

2011-09-05T15:45:00.001-07:00

We planned a quick camping trip with those of us who live in Idaho. Sorry Randy, Denell and McKay, ya’ll were missed!

I love camping, but usually we go up to our ranch and stay in the house there. This time we had to sleep in a tent. Which was wonderful, but I was a little jealous of my brother.

His tent My tent

What is cuter than one lil boy?

Two little boys…..And what is cuter than 2 little boys?

Three little boys of course!

Papa took them on a night ride.

Kolby saw a bug on the log and was freaking out! Hahahaha, priceless. Still laughing.

We spent the night, ate tinfoil dinners, cooked some s’mores and spent the next day dirt biking and four wheeling down to Webster’s Dam. It was an awesome trip, but my favorite part was coming home and taking a hot shower. I really do appreciate technology, my microwave and shampoo.

Buyer’s Remorse

2011-09-02T08:13:00.001-07:00

I LOVE shopping. It is basically the greatest thing in the world! Yesterday I went shopping at Maurices with my friend Katie. When I got there the clerk greeted me, “Hey Heather! I’ll go get your dressing room ready.”

After buying all my favorite things, we left.

“I think I shop there too much,” I said to my friend, “They know my name and my favorite dressing room.”

“Oh, I thought you were friends” she said.

“Nope.”

Oh buyer’s remorse! How I wish I had you.

New Workout Shoes

2011-08-30T10:19:00.001-07:00

My dad has recently discovered the D.I, the local place where people donate stuff they no longer want. While hanging out at my parents my dad came into the living room.

“I bought you some new workout shoes,” he said.

“Really?” I was excited! Who doesn’t like new shoes? Although I was a little worried he had gotten the wrong shoe size.

Turns out size was the least of my worries.

“What are they dad?” I asked lifting them up.

“No idea! But I got them for eight dollars. If I knew how to work that googlythinger I would figure out what they are.”

I took the honor of searching Google for him. After searching every phrase possible I found a similar pair on E-bay for ten dollars.

“Sorry dad, they are only worth ten dollars.” I showed him the E-bay ad.

“I knew I could make money, but I think I’m gonna keep em,” he said staring at them fondly.

He then proceeded to show me the other goods he found at the D.I for unbelievable prices.

Three plastic trees, a bush and a creepy doll.

“Can you believe the stuff people throw away?” my dad asked shaking his head with disgust.

“No dad, I can’t believe it at all,” I mumbled glancing at the metal shoes.

My mom had a few words to say about it too, “People don’t even like porcelain dolls anymore!” she shrieked, “AND he made the most horrific muffins!” she huffed.

Now the muffins are definitely something to be upset about.

Rexburg Water Rapids

2011-08-27T15:52:00.001-07:00

I wanted to take my Lincoln swimming today, so I invited along some friends. The local water park requires a diaper liner. I melted Lincoln’s diaper liner in the dryer. I wasn’t gonna buy a new one, so we reused it.

It’s slightly pathetic……

Even with a defective liner, we managed to have fun.

Mars Needs Moms

2011-08-23T14:47:00.001-07:00

Just finished watching "Mars Needs Moms," and wow am I relieved! One of my big fears is getting abducted by martians. Turns out I have been worrying over nothing. Mars only abducts moms who can get their children to obey.

Fortunately, I can't get my child to do anything.

The Dollar Challenge: Hairy Armpits

2011-08-22T10:54:00.001-07:00

WARNING: If hairy armpits gross you out STOP here.

The dollar challenge began when a co-worker told me he would give me a dollar if I ate my manager’s box of Cheez-its. Now there is something to be known about me; food is my weakness and I can never turn down a challenge. I ate that box of Cheez-its in less than 30 minutes.

That is when the dollar became MINE and I issued a challenge to someone else. The dollar continues to go around and around and the challenge is written on it.

freedomsphoenix.com

Soon Katie got the dollar and she challenged me to not shave my armpits for the 3 weeks she would be gone on vacation.

Challenge Accepted!

It was a long three weeks and when I say “long” I am referring to my armpit hair. I started wearing long sleeve shirts to work and “high fives” became “low fives” in my attempt to hide the secret under my arms.

Katie came back to Idaho bringing along her waxing kit. I don’t know who was happier to see her, me or everyone who has had to witness my hairy armpits.

The damage three weeks of not shaving can do to a person:

Katie getting ready. She might look all sweet and innocent, but believe me, she is heartless!

Waxing! I have always thought that I had a high tolerance for pain. Turns out I was wrong. Worst pain EVER! I would prefer having my wisdom teeth removed again or perhaps having a baby naturally. Heck, maybe both at the same time.

After: Look how red my armpits are! They hurt for like 2 days.

So, I know a few of you are thinking, “Will Heather ever wax her armpits again?”

I wish I could answer with a simple “yes” or “no” but really all depends on if there is a dollar involved.

10 Things Lincoln Learned This Week

2011-08-19T10:42:00.001-07:00

1. If you don’t want to do something play dumb.

Me: Lincoln clean up your toys

Lincoln: What?

Me: Lincoln clean up your toys.

Lincoln: What?

Me: I said clean your trucks up child.

Lincoln: What?

2. Everything sounds better with the words “green” and “funny” in front of it.

Lincoln yesterday: I want my funny, green trailer!

Lincoln this morning: I want funny, green socks.

Lincoln last night: Where funny, green jamies go?

3. Mommy is nicer without makeup.

As I was getting ready Lincoln began screaming, “No pretty mommy! I don’t like pretty mommy!”.

4. Some books can be colored in.

Lincoln saw me marking my scriptures and started getting mad, “No mommy! No color book!”.

I tried to explain to him it is okay to color a little in the scriptures. Later I found him coloring my scriptures with crayons.

5. Always say goodbye to everything every time you leave anywhere.

As we left the nature park, “Bye-bye trees, bye-bye rock, bye-bye birdy, bye-bye ducks.”

Every time we leave the house, “Bye-bye house, bye-bye truck, bye-bye toys.”

6. Apologize before you do something bad.

“Sorry mommy,” he said before jumping on my stomach.

“Sorry mommy,” he said before turning off the lights on me.

“Sorry car,” he said before chucking it across the room.

7. “Happy” is a fun word.

I am always asking Lincoln if he is happy. I guess I am a little over-concerned about his happiness. Now he walks around the house saying, “HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY!”

8. “Bésame” means “kiss me”

Me: Bésame boca.

Lincoln: No boca!

Me: Come on bésame.

Lincoln, leaning in for kiss: okay, bésame mommy.

9. Life is better naked.

While attempting to put on Lincoln’s diaper he would grab it and run and hide it and come back laughing. After 5 diapers disappearing I gave up.

Me: I give up! You are stuck naked.

Lincoln running around screaming: Happy! Happy! Happy!

10. Pretend to be hurt and mom won’t make you sleep.

Lincoln has begun waking up screaming, “Owie! Owie! Owie!” I of course freak out and get him out of bed. Then I am worried he is starving to death so I make him food in the middle of the night.

Here are a few pictures of my Lincoln!

How to Make a Healthy, Yummy Fruit Smoothie

2011-08-17T12:02:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite treats is a fruit smoothie. I make them almost every day. Especially for breakfast!

Step 1: Gather ingredients!

-A cup of each of your favorite frozen fruits: I chose pineapples and mangos today. Strawberries and bananas are great too.

-One container of your favorite yogurt: Today I used fat free lime yogurt.

-One cup of Almond Milk: It only has 60calories and is SO yummy.

-Apple or orange juice added to desired thickness: I used apple juice.

Step 2: Find yourself a little helper

Step 3: Add the ingredients! Use as much apple juice as you want depending on how thick you want it.

Step 4: Blend it up and pour yourself a glass

Step 5: Enjoy!

One of my favorite memories of my dad is him making milkshakes. Almost once a week he would throw a bunch of ingredients together and make the family a tasty treat. I loved it! It was always a fun surprise to see what he would invent. Now I get to do the same thing with my son, but this time it is fruit smoothies!

10 Facts About My Job

2011-08-12T21:39:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine does a fun fact friday. I thought it was a really cute idea, and have officially began friday facts.

I work at a jewelry store where I am constantly learning new things. This is what I learned this past week:

Fact 1: People really do get engaged after knowing eachother for 3 days.

Fact 2: Squeezing into a ring two sizes too small is not like squeezing into pants two sizes too small. Your finger will swell, turn purple and your manager might have to cut off the ring.

Fact 3: Getting kissed on the cheek by your 80-year-old customer is a mixture of creepy and sweet.

Fact 4: People come looking for $50 wedding rings and are devastated when they can't find one.

Fact 5: If you are nice to your customers, they will bring you Birthday cake and then buy their ring somewhere else.

Fact 6: If you don't want the surprise ruined you probably should give the store your phone number and not hers.

Fact 7: You might get asked by your customer if you will marry him.

Fact 8: Things become really awkward when you ask if the guy brought in his daughter to help him pick out a ring, and it turns out to be his girlfriend.

Fact 9: If the alarm goes off in the middle of the night, you get to watch the police search the place with their guns drawn, only to find out it was a hanging sign that set off the alarm.

Fact 10: You will get in trouble by the four men you work with if you turn on the heat in the middle of the summer and lose all thermastat priveledges.

That is a Little Hat

2011-07-26T14:11:00.001-07:00

Today Lincoln found my bra and insisted on wearing it around his neck like a necklace.

"That's mommy's" I said trying to retrieve it from his neck.

"It's my pretties" he agrued.

I gave up and figured as long as he was locked in the house and no one could see, he could wear it.

Ten minutes later, I was ready to go for a bike ride. I grabbed my hat, Lincoln and removed my bra from his body.

"My hat" he snapped, grabbing my bra and attempting to wear it on his head.

"Definitely not a hat dude, and that hat is not going outside of these walls" I ordered.

He tried one more time to fit it on his head before it fell off and he threw it, "Little, it's baby hat".

"It's not that little" I said picking it up for viewing.

I don't know if I should be insulted or not. Either way, I am happy he is back to wearing his own clothes.

Boating

2011-07-20T15:46:00.001-07:00

I Am Still a Mormon Mom

2011-07-17T14:18:00.001-07:00

I do not know how to operate a sewing machine

My food storage is what happens to be in the cupboards.

Crafts hate me.

I don't understand why people "can" their own food when it is already canned at the store.

If I am asked to bring dinner to the "sick" or "elderly", you better have the ranch to go with the pizza delivery.

Even if I knew how to use a coupon, I still wouldn't use it.

When people ask me for my cookie recipe I tell them it's in the refrigerated section of Wal-Mart.

Growing my own food is about as likely as me growing out my hair.

All and all, I am not your stereo-typical mormom mom.

I use to feel like a crappy mormon when I started comparing myself to all the superstar women in my church. I use to wonder many times if there was something wrong with me. Why do I hate all these things that I am naturally suppose to enjoy? Does that make me an awful mormon? Am I less womanly because I want to work a job and can't sew?

Of course not! I am who I am! I love Christ, the gospel, my family and most importantly I love frozen pizza.

No matter my lack of skills I am still a mormon mom, and dang proud of it.

I Never Take Out My Contacts!

2011-07-14T13:06:00.001-07:00

About five years ago, I went to my last eye doctor appointment. I recieved a 6 month supply of contact lenses.

Flash forward five years and.....

Today I used my last right eye lense and my second-to-last left eye. Yes, you are reading this correctly. That six pack of lenses are still active.

I never remove my lenses. Never. In fact, I forget I even wear contacts. The last time I put new ones in was probably over a year ago. I have no idea! A co-worker was telling me how I was ruining my eyes and it scared me so much that I took them out two months later.

When I removed them today, I was so out of practice that it took an hour just to get those new suckers in. Once they were in, my eyes began to burn and for the next 3 hours my right eye was crying profusely. Now I am forced to wear glasses. It brings back elementary school where I was called "four-eyes" and told I "talk funny". Things I try not to remember or at least pretend never happened.

Yikes!

However, my eye still hurts. Anyone know what damage I have done to my legally blind eyes? Will I have to wear glasses for the rest of my life? Am I going to go real blind?

On the positive side (assuming these contacts will be used accordingly) I will have saved approximately 2200 dollars just on lenses alone! With that kind of savings, I do say I deserve a shopping spree. Maybe something to go with these fabulous glasses?

When You Realize Your Child is Average

2011-07-12T11:42:00.001-07:00

Why must parent’s constantly brag about how smart their child is? I understand being proud, but sometimes it gets….. well it gets annoying.

You know what I am talking about. You get a bunch of moms and dads together and it turns into the “One Upper Game.”

Conversation Example:

“My two-year old knows all his colors”

“Oh my son knows his colors too, and he can count to 20”

“My son just turned two and he can speak sentences and carry on adult conversations”

“Well my daughter can read”

and then they look over at me and things get a little uncomfortable because my son can’t do ANY of those things.

He can’t count. He says colors, but they are never right. His vocabulary usually involves words no one else can understand. He hides the books when I try to read to him, and the longest sentence he says is, “Oh no, I farted mama.”

Then I realize something, something that all parent’s struggle or refuse to grasp. My son is average. Yep I said it. He is just your typical, average two-year-old.

My response to all those parents; at least my child can do this:

“What exactly is that Heather?”

Who cares! My son can do it! For your information it is sliding WHILE lifting your shirt up and believe me, that takes mad skills.

The truth is, how could I honestly expect more from my son when he comes from completely average me?

It's Never A Good Thing If Your Son Look Better In Your Clothes Than You

2011-07-09T20:50:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I forget to do the laundry. Sometimes I procrastinate doing the laundry, and other times I flat out refuse to do the laundry. Either way, it never ends well for Lincoln. With no clean pajamas, he is forced to wear my shirt to bed as a replacement.

Poor little guy, I have one too many blackmail photos to use when he turns all teenager on me.

I can already imagine what his future ex-girlfriend has to say, “You painted your toenails AND wore your mom’s clothes?”

Do You Spank Your Child?

2011-07-08T22:57:00.001-07:00

Before I had Lincoln, I promised myself that I would never spank him. This involved slapping hands or being rough at all. I honestly do NOT believe violence in any degree is a means of discipline or punishment. Now I have seen friends and family spank their children and I don't think they are being abusive or mean, it's just something I don't believe in. It is that line I don't ever want to cross, and so far Lincoln is turning out great.

But the point of this story is child abuse of any kind has always been a sensitive spot for me. Reading, hearing or watching it makes my eyes swell with tears. I think perfect looking families can be overlooked for abuse because well...... They look perfect!

Back when I was an after school teacher, over three years ago, one of my kindergarton students was complaining about her back. Eventually she lifted up her shirt to reveal her "owie". Her aching back was a softball sized bruise. I knew instantly where it came from. Her clingy, emotional and unstable personality had been red flags for weeks. Not wanting to accuse, I simply asked. She proceeded to tell me how her father had shoved her and she had fallen backwards over the dog. She showed me other bruises, and it was enough. I took her in my arms and marched from my classroom. I grabbed another teacher to watch my class and went to the office. I could hardly talk because I was fighting back hot tears. I asked the little girl to repeat her story before I had to write down everything that was said.

By law, I was not allowed to know anything about what actions were to be taken. I would never know if her situation was being handled. I wrote my info down and it was never mentioned or brought up again.

Every now and then, I see this sweet girl with her parents and every time I do, my heart aches. She is dressed poorly, they growl and speak down to her. All I want to do is wrap my arms around her and give her the love she needs, the love every human needs.

And perhaps that is the reason I spoke out today. Maybe the reason I overstepped my boundaries, because children cant speak for themselves.

Today I was at Wal-Mart. I had Lincoln in my cart and was doing my usual shopping. As I walked down the aisle, I instantly became aware of the lady in front of me snapping at her son. I ignored it, but his sad demeanor held my attention. He was wanting to look at bikes, but she insisted on calling him names and telling him to shut up. I followed them secretly for the next ten minutes until I couldn't take it any longer.

"That's not how you talk to a human being, let alone a child. Speaking to him like that in public makes me wonder what you're like at home" I said it with such confidence and clarity that I even surprised myself at how powerful my words and tone sounded.

I thought maybe she would yell at me or start chucking her cans of food, but instead she looked completly humiliated. She didn't say anything, and things got a little awkward. I left her alone to analyze herself.

But the point is, I spoke out! I might not have made a difference today, but what if I did? And it's the "what if" that will keep me shouting out for abused children everywhere.

Now back to spanking.
I refuse to spank my child because where is the line between a spanking and a beating? What if you get extra angry one time and spank a little too hard? What if that one slap or harsh word leads to just a little harder slap and a slightly meaner word. Why open that gate at all? I say close the door completely on physical discipline and use your creative juices and form a different action!

Alright, alright, I am done preaching. .....But who is with me!?!?

What do YOU look like in the morning?

2011-07-07T16:13:00.001-07:00

It always amazes me how darn sexy I am when I roll out of bed. I mean seriously! Why do I waste time doing my hair and makeup when I already look so good?

What Makes the Perfect 4th of July?

2011-07-06T20:17:00.001-07:00

Well, it involves a mixture of very little planning, a movie, some sledding, lighting fireworks, fun and the traditional morning parade!

We started the day out by going to the parade. Lincoln was thrilled that random people in vehicles were throwing him candy!

Next we went to “Rio”

I LOVED “Rio”! It was the first movie Lincoln has gone to that was age appropriate. He sat in his own chair and didn’t move for an entire hour. When the birds got kidnapped, he got all sad and said, “Oh no, sad birdy”. When the birds kissed he said, “EWWWWWWW!”. He laughed at the funny parts and commented on his favorite parts.

I recommend that movie to everyone! The music was cute, the story sweet and overall adorable! I am going to buy it!

Next we sat on the porch and threw pop rocks. We went through 6 boxes really fast.

Lincoln and his dad

Then Lincoln peed out all over his clothes and all over my pants. (This is us in our peed clothes, it looked like I wet my pants too)

I wore grandma’s pants, and he wore grandma’s shirt. Just two dorks!

Then Papa pulled out the sled and the real fun started! Need I say anymore?

Papa was heartless! When you fell off, you FLEW off!

I gave no mercy for the old man. I made sure he was off in no time!

Scott got dumped several times and had a few bruises to show for it!

Even grandma joined in on the fun!

Lincoln has amazing balance! That little dude was born for sports like “Grass Sledding”. One day, I just KNOW he is going to go professional! We watched the sun set and got excited for FIREWORKS!

Fire Works!

Lincoln is a little pyro. He lit a match on his own and it scared the crap out of me. The entire time he wanted to light the fireworks and play with the matches.

Next year I am buying him 2 dozen sparklers because 1 dozen wasn’t enough.

The firework he picked out was a motorcycle. When we lit it, he attempted to pick it up. He wasn’t too thrilled that we fried his toy.

Overall, it was the perfect day. I am not sure why it was, but it was.

Maybe because there were no plans

Maybe it was dragging my dad and mom behind a sled

Perhaps it was lighting fire and blowing things up

Or, maybe I finally understand what living in a free country really means.

Bet, I am guessing it was being surrounded by the people I love the most.

Whose White Trash Kid is That?

2011-07-02T13:04:00.001-07:00

Water baby

2011-06-27T22:22:00.001-07:00

Lincoln loves water! After getting him ready for bed we went outside and soon the sprinklers were on.
(sorry all pictures were taken with my phone so poor quality)

We also go to the splash park everyday before I go to work. He is a crazy kid at the park!

And best of all my sister has a pool at her apartment complex! Yay!

But I Think It's Cute!

2011-06-25T15:32:00.001-07:00

Judge away, he is simply well rounded and having fun. Besides who else is going to play with me?

Flowers Go in the Garden

2011-06-21T10:05:00.001-07:00

I cut some of my Tulips and put them in my house on the table. I love fresh flowers and how happy they make a home feel.

Lincoln didn’t like them. He got them out of the vase and went outside to put them where they belonged. He was so frustrated because he couldn’t get them to stay.

When Life Gives You Lemons

2011-06-07T11:57:00.001-07:00

Life threw me some lemons and I tried to throw them back, but these lemons are super annoying!

These last couple of weeks have been hard for me. I couldn’t talk about the miscarriage at all without bursting into tears, and even now I find myself crying at night or when I am alone.

I have recovered physically, and emotionally I am almost there. It still seems surreal that it is really over when I saw that little guy on the ultra-sound. How is it possible, little arms and legs, a head, a baby. The only thing missing was a beating heart. What went wrong at 10 weeks? I still blame myself, and probably always will. I lost the baby after I got hurt, how could it not be my fault? I can’t get myself to throw out the pictures, and it’s probably unhealthy to keep them. Eventually I will, but for now I’m holding onto them until I’m ready to move on.

The good news is: I have enough to keep me pre-occupied.

Like Lincoln shoving himself in small containers:

Or the thief who keeps stealing my deodorant:

And the menace living under my sink:

Did I mention the little boy who set off the fire alarm at Wal-Mart?

and lets not forget the monster sleeping in MY BED!

or the little man stealing my seat!

and worst of all! Lincoln’s fashion sense is spiraling down hill.

But overall there is enough sugar in my life to turn those lemons into tasty lemonade!

Thank You Officer.......again?

2011-06-02T15:40:00.000-07:00

Today I got pulled over AGAIN! Same red light, same speeding, same officer....
I tried to hide my face, but he knew it was me.

Officer: Didn't I pull you over the other day?
Me: Yep
Officer: Speeding and red light?
Me: Yep
Officer: No insurance still?
Me: Are you gonna write me a big one?
Officer: I kind of feel like I need to, since I already warned you.
Me: Okay, if you must

Turns out he must really like me. He wrote me a ticket for the insurance, but if I take it in to the court with proof of insurance I won't have to pay anything.

I am going to stop speeding and running red lights.

The Rabbit

2011-06-01T10:41:00.001-07:00

Today Lincoln and I were looking out the window when we saw this giant rabbit. It ran from our view, so we made our way outside.

The rabbit was hiding in the flower gardens.

“Lincoln go get the rabbit!” I said pointing to it and wanting to watch Lincoln chase a rabbit. Lincoln ran over there and that rabbit just sat there eating, acting like Lincoln wasn’t even there.

It was the weirdest thing ever! Rabbits don’t hang around people! I ran and grabbed the camera.

“Lincoln pet the rabbit” I told him as that rabbit stretched out on the grass to enjoy getting pet.

Then everything changed. It turned into something off of “Mighty Python and the Holy Grail”.

I think it might be the same one!

That dang rabbit ran straight towards me and through my legs! I immediately began screaming bloody murder.

“Oh my gosh!” I yelled running from it and I seriously thought it was going to run after me! I cried making it for the house and shutting the door quickly behind me.

“Crap! I forgot Lincoln!” I realized with a little bit of guilt and peeked through the crack of the door. “Run Lincoln! Run! That’s a killer rabbit!”

He didn’t understand how serious this was! He was busy shouting, “Kitty sit! Kitty sit!”.

That rabbit was hyped up on something!

I called Scott and he demanded me to text him pictures because he didn’t believe it. Unfortunately, I didn’t take them with my phone. So, I ventured back outside and shaking with COMPLETE fear, took a picture with my phone of me petting the rabbit.

Scariest moment of my life! I could have been killed!

Thank You Officer

2011-05-31T17:05:00.000-07:00

I have this problem running red lights. I am just not patient enough. Today, I was driving and the light turned red, so I hit the gas and sped through it. Unfortunately, the police car in the lane next to mine, stopped. Stupid rule followers!

He quickly went through the red light after me, lights flashing.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" he asked.

I decided to play the stupid card, "No idea" I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"For one the speed limit is 25, not 39, and secondly you ran a red light." he said sternly.

"Oh....." I was starting to panic. I pride myself in getting out of tickets, but this time no excuses were coming.

"Can I get your license, insurance and registration?" he asked getting straight to the point. He obviously didn't want to hear my excuses, even if I did have one.

I reached for my wallet and pulled out my license, "This is a terrible picture of me," I said before handing it over, "I was nine months pregnant." He didn't seem to care.

I started searching for the insurance and registration. I handed the registration over and started scrambling through the papers for the insurance. I pulled out an insurance card.

"That's 2008" he said impatiently.

Why there is a 2008 insurance card in my brand new car, I will never know. I grabbed a different one.

"That's 2009, you're getting closer," he looked bored.

My hands began shaking. Why do I have insurance cards to vehicles I don't even own anymore? There was no way I was getting out of this ticket. Eventually I gave up.

"I don't have it!" I threw up my hands in defeat, "just give me a ticket".

He seemed shocked. People probably don't normally demand tickets, "Well, just so you know your registration is up at the end of this month," he pointed out the date and I began laughing. Like laughing uncontrollably.

"That isn't even the registration to this car! That's to my truck!" I exclaimed, and continued laughing. What were all these papers doing in my car?

"Oh, it is....you're right" he looked really confused, "well it expires at the end of this month."

"Don't worry," I breathed through gasps of laughter, "I already crashed that truck!"

"Oh! Well, because you're wearing your seat belt, I won't give you a ticket." he seemed nervous. Perhaps my maniac laugh was alarming?

"Thank you officer" I said smiling brightly.

I am still laughing.

Miscarriages Suck!

2011-05-26T13:00:00.001-07:00

Apparently that fall was a lot harder than I imagined. I started losing the baby a few days later. I feel really embarrassed that I told people so early and now I have to announce to the world that I am no longer pregnant.

I have felt every sort of emotion, but overall I just feel weird and empty. I don’t like to talk about it, and the worst thing you can ask is, “How is the bleeding?” ask me that and you might get smacked.

I wonder if God is punishing me. I wonder if I don’t deserve to have another baby. I wonder a lot of things. I don't believe I have ever cried so much in all my life. My heart aches, my stomach feels sick and feel so empty.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was devastated. Then I got attached and now I want a baby SO very much! I never thought I would lose my baby. It never even crossed my mind, and yet 10 weeks along I lose it because of something I did. I can hardly look at myself in the mirror. This stupid scar on my face reminds me of why I lost him and I can't help but feel angry! I know everything will be alright in the end. I know it will be! The future has endless opportunities to be happy and I am blessed with the life I do have.

I am the BIGGEST clutz!

2011-05-20T17:50:00.001-07:00

It is true. If there is a way for me to get hurt, I find it.

Like today:

I decided to jump off the deck to the trampoline! It was a good idea at the time.

Except I have no coordination.

I was holding onto the tree, while standing on the deck and tried stepping to the tramp. I was even being careful. Well I lost my footing and my face slid down the tree before smacking into the rocks. I just laid there in shock, and then I felt the blood pouring down my forehead. I didn't know what to do. It knocked the wind out of me and I hit my stomach and ribs really hard on the rocks. After I could catch my breath, I ran to the house to see the damage done. The cut was really deep and the blood was out of control. Head wounds always bleed so much. I super glued my forehead shut and cleaned my cheek. I handled it all really well, but I get hurt so much it kind of is like a routine, haha.

Anyways, my cheek looks bad but the cut on my forehead hurts WAY worse.

I think the most depressing part is that I thought I looked all cute today, and now my face is all messed up and ugly. Go figure. I already have a few scars on face from other accidents I had over the past couple of years. This one will probably scar too.

Isn’t my outfit adorable though? Gotta love shopping!

I was really nervous about the baby. I love this little gummy bear already! I can't imagine what it would do to me if I lost it for being an idiot falling off decks. I talked to my brother and he assured me that there is enough padding around the little guy that he should be fine.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, Scott doesn’t beat me :) He is too sweet for that!

I dislike MEAN people

2011-05-20T14:06:00.001-07:00

Pregnancy has done something to me. I can no longer tolerate anyone that is rude. To tell you the truth, I like the new me, I don’t take crap from anyone.

Example:

I went to the grocery store and was standing in line with my son. Some rude guy cut in front of me and put his toothpaste on the checkout line.

“Excuse me!” I said, picking up his box of toothpaste and placing it back in his hands, “We were here” I pointed dramatically to myself.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” he placed the toothpaste back down on the line.

“Oh right, you didn’t notice me, my son and my cart full of food?” I grabbed the toothpaste again and shoved it in his chest like a knife, “Well, do you notice us now?”

“I only have one thing” he said shaking his box violently in front of my eyes.

“And I have fifty things!” and I started to unload my grocery cart. I don’t think I have ever met such a mean person(I am referring to him). He looked at me with a smirk and proceeded to hand his stupid toothpaste to the cashier.

Oh he did NOT just do that!

“No!” I yelled, he was not going to win this battle, “I was here first!” I said to the cashier and for once those dang hormones worked to my advantage. My eyes filled up with tears and the lady reacted by glaring at the guy.

“Get in the back of the line sir” she said and then smiled at me sweetly, “Don’t you hate people like that?”

“Yes I do” I piped, “he was so very mean to me” and I left the store walking a little taller and slightly more confident with an overwhelming feeling of possessing super hero powers.

I even yelled at someone for not putting their cart back in the rack, “Hey You! Put your dang cart back!”

What is Going on in Heather’s Life?

2011-05-18T19:57:00.001-07:00

Well not a whole lot, but here is a complete update on life!

Work:

I love my job! I spend a lot of hours daydreaming about my next wedding ring, haha. It has been really hard having to leave Lincoln. Every time I drop him off he breaks down in tears. It’s heart wrenching, but on the positive side:

It has made me a better mom! The moments we have together are spent having fun.

Park Time!

We go to the park everyday before I work. Something about carrying a wagon around makes me feel like a homeless person, it’s an incredible feeling.

Clean Time!

Lincoln is an incredible helper around the house and the car.

Bath Time!

While Lincoln takes a bath, I usually do my hair and makeup. Today he stood up and began whining, “All done momma, all done!”

I turned to look at him and he was holding his poop! It was gross. When I cleaned out the tub, Lincoln was dry-heaving. He has such a sensitive stomach like me, haha!

Toy Time!

Today we went to Wal-Mart and I let Lincoln choose a toy and a treat. He was so excited when we got home!

Other things:

Besides work and being a mom, I have been reading lots, going to movies, writing and taking photos like crazy.

All the things I LOVE and also all VERY therapeutic for me.

Peanut Butter

2011-05-15T20:07:00.001-07:00

I was grabbing my stuff to leave for work, Lincoln was running around like a crazy monkey and Scott was being grumpy because he had to babysit on his day off.

Right before I left, Scott walked down the hall and his foot slid awkwardly beneath him. He lifted his foot and smeared across the wood floors was a light brown sticky mess.

“Why is there peanut butter on the floor?” he said looking confused.

“That’s not peanut butter, that is poop.” I said laughing.

“No it’s not. Poop doesn’t randomly land on the floor.”

“And a peanut butter jar opens itself and randomly spreads itself in the middle of the floor?” I asked.

“It’s peanut butter” Scott said defiantly.

“Alright, if you are SO sure that it is peanut butter, then smell it” I said smiling.

and to my complete amazement Scott removed his sock and held his sock up to his nose.

“WHY IS THERE CRAP ON THE GROUND?!?” he yelled.

I was too busy laughing on the ground to answer.

Unconditional Love

2011-05-14T08:44:00.001-07:00

Last night Lincoln refused to go to sleep in his bed. After several minutes of crying I gave up and laid him next to me in my bed, “Time to go night, night,” I told him.

He snuggled up on my shoulder and stared up at me. I grabbed out my book and began reading.

“Mama?” he asked.

“What baby?” I said still reading my book.

“I love you” he said.

“I love you too baby”

“Mama?” he asked.

“Yes baby?”

“Night, night” he said snuggling a little closer.

He continued telling me stuff for the next 15 minutes, saying he loved me, or about his toys, or that he was going night, night. As I flipped through the pages of my book, I responded to him without really listening.

“Mama?” he said.

“Yes baby?”

“Mama look, look” he begged and I looked down at him giving me a cheesy grin.

“You’re so beautiful baby” I told him in reply and he really was.

He lifted his hands up to my face and brushed my skin, “mama pretty” he said and he pointed at my eyes, “pretty eyes”.

My heart melted as his little eyes fluttered shut and he fell asleep with his little hand still touching my face and his other one holding my hand.

I am always wishing time away, hoping it will go by faster, wanting my work day to end or anticipating the next paycheck. As Lincoln laid there, I wanted time to freeze and for that moment it felt as though it had.

When he was sleeping deep enough, I carried him to his room, but I couldn’t get myself to put him to bed. So, I sat on the floor and held him close. I felt completely overwhelmed with unconditional love and pure happiness.

Rotten

2011-05-13T11:01:00.001-07:00

WARNING: GRAPHIC PHOTOS

I use to drink skim milk everyday, then one day my milk got placed behind Lincoln’s 2% Milk and I was STARVING and didn’t have time to move his to get to mine. Alright, alright, I was too lazy.

The point is….

I drank that 2% milk the entire day and the next day I went to try my skim milk and it tasted like CRAP! No joke, I had to throw away my Lucky Charms (very disappointing).

I couldn’t drink it anymore! So, I kept drinking that delicious 2% milk and I watched my skim milk begin to rot

and rot

and rot some more

and I kept thinking about dumping it out but even the thought made me gag.

Instead I stashed it in the back of the refrigerator where it turned into something that is indescribable.

So I will show you a picture instead: (the white specks are mold)

When it started bulging and looking like it might burst, I did what needed to be done, I unscrewed the lid and let the air out and stashed it back in the fridge.

But it was this constant rotting mess ALWAYS reminding me!

Well today my mom and I discussed the problem:

“Just dump it down the sink” she said.

“Really mom!? You know I can’t rinse milk chunks down the drain. I’ll throw up!” I exclaimed.

“Throw it in my garbage can” she offered.

“It will explode!” I whined.

“Freeze it”.

Now that sounded like a good idea.

So I shoved it in the freezer.

Two hours later I went to get me some ice-cream and the milk was dripping on it!

“Oh my gosh!” I screamed “This milk is RUINING my life!” and I grabbed it and announced to anyone that was listening, “I am dumping it outside!”

This is how it went:

In the beginning, I was more than excited to get rid of it.

Lincoln was very supportive the entire time. When we got back inside he was walking around pretending to dry heave and spitting on the ground.

At the end I just felt sick

Tonight I’m prepared to have milkmares (aka milk nightmares)

I was thirsty

2011-05-13T10:58:00.001-07:00

Today I was insanely thirsty! I mean I literally felt like I was going to die of thirst! I drove to Wal-Mart and started grabbing EVERY drink off the shelf I wanted.

I ended up grabbing a fish too. With my cart full of liquids it just felt like he belonged in there too.

When we got home I decided to throw a “Drink Party”. Lincoln and I were the only guests, but it was a blast!

This is our new fish. I named him Kato.

Cheers!

BEST FRIENDS

Lincoln was so excited about the party! He wouldn’t leave my side and would say, “cheers!” and we would click our glasses together, haha!

Tantrum

2011-05-09T08:51:00.001-07:00

Today Lincoln tested my patience.

He refused to eat until he had put deodorant on.

He refused to get dressed until he took a bath.

He refused to take a bath until he weighed himself and sat on the potty.

He refused to wear what I wanted him to because he wanted to wear his dirty outfit from the day before.

and then the tantrum began….

the hour long tantrum

the tantrum from hell

I dressed him and he screamed, kicked, hit, twisted and ran. It took me 10 minutes to button his shirt alone.

But I remained calm. In fact I laughed.

Then he followed me around the house screaming bloody murder and saying, “Help me! Help me!” and, “I’m dying! I’m dying”.

After 15 minutes of this I put him in his crib, turned off the light and shut the door.

He screamed for about 2 minutes and then everything went silent. I was relieved.

“Finally” I thought, “He has decided to be good.”

When I opened the door he had crawled out of his crib and was busy pulling his dirty outfit out of his clothes hamper.

He has never even tried to get out of his crib before!

So I put him back in his crib, while he screamed, “shirt! shirt! Shirt!”

I grabbed all his clothes and put them in the washer out of his reach.

He was busy screaming in his room, so I shut myself in the bathroom and began getting ready.

When everything went silent again, I decided to give him a few more minutes before I got him.

When I went to get him, he was not in his room.

He was busy grabbing his dirty outfit out of the washer from a kitchen chair!

So, I put him in time out again…

and again…

and again….

and after an entire hour he gave up!

Even though I won this war,

for some reason I feel like I lost.

Next time I am gonna let him be the smelly kid.

Happy Mother’s Day

2011-05-08T16:46:00.001-07:00

From the moment I first saw that positive sign on the pregnancy test I knew that being a mom would be the only thing that would matter the rest of my life.

Nothing can explain the feeling I felt when I held Lincoln for the very first time, and no words can express these last two years of motherhood. My life is full of blessings and love because of him and I don’t have a single thing to complain about as long as I have Lincoln to snuggle and take care of.

I am so thankful that I can be a mom and that my Father in Heaven blessed me with another baby! Next Mother’s Day, I will have two babies to love!

and I am especially thankful for my own mom! She is the greatest grandma ever! Lincoln loves her so much!

Happy Mother’s Day Girlies!

Thank You President Obama

2011-05-06T17:20:00.001-07:00

Wait! Is Heather really telling President Obama "thank you"?

Yes you danged Republicans: I AM

But this post has nothing to do with politics(sorry)

Anyways, I am soooooooo, sooooooooo, soooooo very happy right now and I have one person to thank

Our President of The United States

When I found out I was pregnant, I was more than just shocked. This baby is seriously a miracle, I have no idea how I got pregnant(don't worry I get the anatomy of it). But really, it doesn't even begin to make sense!

Anyways...............
Besides horrible timing, and several other things, one of my biggest concerns was how I was going to pay for this baby.

In January a new law was passed by Obama, that allowed any child (married, single, divorced) to be on their parents insurance until the age of 26. I was told that under this law it covers everything....except pregnancy. It was a huge blow and only added to the stress. I didn't want this baby to be a burden. After many, many tears, I spent a lot of hours praying that I would find a way to make it work.

Several phone calls later, I was informed that my parent's insurance covers pregnancy. Prayer answered!

BEST LAW EVER!

It gets better! I only have a $500 deductible and only have to pay 20% of the bills and only up to $5000 if costs get really pricey. If this baby is anything like Lincoln was, it is going to save me $20,000! I am working extra hard, extra hours and saving my money so that I can pay for the bills up front. (sigh of relief)

I can not even begin to tell you all how VERY, VERY, VERY happy I am! This is really a big deal and makes my life a hundred times easier.

So if you see me walking around like a dork with a big smile on my face, it's because I AM HAPPY and I feel like I outsmarted someone, I'm not sure who, but I definitely am getting the feeling that I did.

Easter!

2011-05-06T10:24:00.001-07:00

Easter morning started like any typical Easter morning

……………….. oh wait……….

the Easter bunny forgot to come!

Thankfully, Lincoln still got a basket full of goodies a little later than planned. He also got a red wagon, but that lazy Easter bunny left it in the box and I had to set it up later :(

“Stupid Easter bunny!”

The real fun started at Grandma and Papa’s house. Lincoln didn’t understand the whole “Easter Basket” thing and ended up putting it on his head and Cohen’s head.

When we released the kids to go find eggs, Lincoln put his basket on his head and started running around like a chicken with its head chopped off.

I was a little disappointed because this is not an ordinary egg hunt.

This is basically the most serious egg hunt ever!

Soon the adults began running for the eggs! I definitely did NOT take pictures because time can not be wasted for petty things like memories.

There are prizes involved

and MONEY!

We definitely brought in the good prizes, but my sister won over a hundred dollars. I chucked my candy at her I was so mad! Alright, I wasn’t mad, but I always find the MOST eggs and never win the money (insert pouty face)

Grandpa calls out the winning numbers, “Oh that danged Denell won some more money……”

By the end of it we were all exhausted but still it was basically

THE BEST DAY EVER!

and I am very excited about next year’s egg hunt because I am going to win me some money! Even if I have to take down some children to get the eggs first. Rules DO NOT apply in a Jones Easter Egg Hunt.

Talent

2011-05-06T09:55:00.001-07:00

My dad entered a contest last year for a park plan in Idaho Falls. They wanted to add some unique benches to their park. Anyone was welcome to draw up their plan for a bench and then it would be voted on. They chose 3 bench plans, two were my dads.

This is his second bench. I didn’t realize it wasn’t wood until I knocked on it. Metal and he painted it to look like wood.

Pure Talent!

I often think about my parents and their insane ability to make something look beautiful out of anything. My mom can sew anything and my dad can build anything.

……..Then I wonder about myself……….

My art work looks comparable to my two-year-old son’s and I have no idea how to work a sewing machine. My mom bought me one for Christmas and it is currently in the box decorating my shelf.

After contemplating for several years I have come to the conclusion that my one talent in life is…..

the ability to write way too much!

Don’t believe me, just scroll down and once you have started, just keep scrolling because my blog is an endless amount of

WORDS!

Facebook Drama?

2011-05-03T08:34:00.000-07:00

Scott was on facebook the other night while I was cleaning Lincoln.

Scott: Wow this girl is a brat. She flat out wrote that she hates a girl on facebook.

Me, wanting to hear facebook drama: Really? Who? What did she write?

Scott: "I hate Casey Anthony, she disgusts me, I cant even look at her." Pretty psycho huh?

Me: Are you joking scott?

Scott: No! She really wrote that!

Me: Where have you been for the last three years? I don't like her either!

Scott: Really? Do we know her?

Me: Do we know her? Ugh! Just google it.

........10 Minutes Later.................

Scott: Did you know Casey Anthony got away with murder?

Me: No Scott, I had no idea (insert sarcasm).

Scott: She did. Crazy huh?

Me: (insert blank stare)

Dead or Alive?

2011-04-27T16:58:00.000-07:00

For work I had to drive to the bank to do a quick bank deposit. When I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed this old man in his car. His head was cocked backwards and his eyes were closed. Basically he looked dead.

I went into the bank

I came out of the bank

The old man was still in his car and I was sure that he must be dead. So, being the loving/caring person that I am, I went over to check on him.

I rapped my fingers on his window..... no reaction.

"Oh my gosh! He really is dead!" I thought and I opened up his car door.

The moment the door opened his head snapped forward, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" he growled.

I literally jumped two feet, and that is saying something cause I was wearing 3 inch heels.

"I'm so sorry!" I said backing up and feeling extremely embarrassed.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" he looked really scary, and I was afraid he might have a heart-attack.

"I thought you were dead," I said, trying to explain myself.

"Dead?" he asked.

"Yea?"

"What cause I am old?" his wrinkles were shaking with anger.

"Ummmmmmm" and I ran for my car.

When I left he was mumbling something about "being too old" and I honestly couldn't agree more.

Easter Egg Decorating

2011-04-18T11:20:00.001-07:00

I decided I wanted to decorate Easter eggs. I bought the eggs, boiled the eggs and got the egg dye.

It was a blast for the kids and a lot of cleaning and demanding for me. I don’t know where the parents ran off to, but I took these five kids on like a champ!

I’m not sure why, but the bright color of vinegar water makes every child thirsty.

Lincoln decided to spoon himself some dye,

“Don’t eat that!” I screamed.

Cohen decided to drink some dye,

“Why are you drinking it!?”

Kolby thought maybe the dye was tasty, “Should I eat it Heather?” he asked.

“What? Why would you want to drink dye?” I asked.

“Lincoln and Cohen did.”

“They are two, Kolby, you are eight.” I sighed, “You know what, taste it, I hear it’s delicious”.

Tasting the vinegar water, “That stuff is nasty!”

……………………………………………………………………….

I also said:

“Get OFF the table!”

“Where is your shirt?”

“CRAP! You poured it on the floor again!”

“Why are we smashing the eggs with the spoons?”

“You dyed that one ten times already”

Eventually the eggs were completed.

Kolby came up with a brilliant idea, “Now we can hide the eggs for the adults outside!”

All I heard was “outside” and thrilled to have them outside and me inside sounded like a great idea, “Good idea Kolby, only hide the broken ones though.”

A few minutes later they had all the eggs in a basket, “I told you, you can only hide the broken ones.”

Lexi had a quick answer, “but they are ALL broken Heather”

“No they aren’t” I said scanning the eggs looking for one that wasn’t cracked.

Lexi smiled, “Yea they are, we broke them all!”

Smart kids.

Pink Toes

2011-04-14T14:01:00.000-07:00

I decided to take Lincoln summer sandal shopping and went to Payless.

As soon as I entered the store a young lady greeted me with a million questions.
"Hey, how are you? The weather is great isn't it? Want me to measure his foot to get his shoe size?" I don't think I have ever heard anyone talk so fast in all my life.

I usually would have smiled and ignored her, but when I woke up today I decided I was going to be nice to annoying people, so I answered all three of her questions,"Good, yes and no".

She looked at me like I was the dumb one, "Alright! I would love to measure his foot!"

I reminded myself that I was being nice and decided to just let her measure Lincoln's foot, even though I had said "No" to that question.

"Just take off his shoe and then take of his sock and then put his foot on here and then I will measure it" she chirped and I am pretty sure she might have bounced several very happy times.

"Okay," I said calmly, reminding myself that I sometimes bounce too.
But once I took off Lincoln's sock, I remembered why I didn't want his foot measured. His toes were freshly painted Bubble Gum Pink. I was hoping she wouldn't notice.

"Oh my Gosh! Did you paint his toes pink?" she exclaimed with a look of disgust and shock.

"Nope" I lied, biting my lip and trying not to look at her or Lincoln's toes.

"Well then WHO did?" she was clutching his toes and really examining them.

"No idea" I shrugged, "get his size yet?"

"Someone doesn't just paint your child's toes without you knowing silly" she laughed and was smiling really big.

"I guess he did then" and I grabbed Lincoln and left her looking confused.

After trying on a few sandals, some other customers found their way towards us.

A little boy pointed at Lincoln's pink toes, "Look mommy his toes are painted pink."
The mom looked and then pulled her child away like we were some really strange looking people, "It's rude to stare sweetheart" but she didn't bother hiding her own gazing eyes.

Ten seconds later another mom was looking at his feet with disapproval.

I was feeling like a pretty crappy mom at this point and desperate to explain myself I said outloud, "It's not THAT weird his toes are painted. I mean really it isn't"

Blank stares from everyone

"He asked me to okay!" I pouted.

A little girl looked over at me and said, "I think his toes are sooooo cute!"

For some reason that statement bothered me the most.

Needless to say the fingernail polish has been removed.

150 About Me Questions!

2011-04-12T13:37:00.001-07:00

01) Where do you want to live?

I want to live in Utah. I use to say I would never live there, but now that I have a kid, I really want to live there.

02) What was your dream growing up?

I wanted to be a doctor by the age of 24, own a townhouse and live all by myself and eat toasted sandwiches on my cabinet.

03) What talent do you wish you had?

I wish I could become invisible, then I could go where ever I wanted. I would walk straight into Disney World, listen to people’s conversations, save lives, cause mischief and disappear when I see people I don’t want to talk to.

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

Gummy Bear Jamba Juice

05) Favorite vegetable?

Lettuce

06) What was the last book you read?

Inexcusable

07) What zodiac sign are you?

Gemini

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

Earrings

09) Worst Habit?

Losing my keys

10) If you saw a stranger walking down the street would you offer him a ride?

Probably not. Maybe if he looked hurt or it was freezing.

11) What is your favorite sport?

Racquetball

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?

I like to say I have a realistic attitude. I prepare for the worst because then I am never disappointed. When something good happens I get overly excited! When something bad happens I deal with it really well because I was prepared mentally.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with a random person?

I would get to know them and probably get them to sing me some tunes to keep me preoccupied.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

I have had a pretty freaking amazing life, not a lot of bad things have ever happened to me. When Lincoln was hospitalized for 3 days I was scared there was something really serious wrong with him. He is as healthy as can be now.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

I love to have my feet held. It’s my favorite! It is so comforting!

16) Do you have any pets?

No. Animals tend to die on me. I have never owned an animal for longer than a year, and I have owned 7 dogs and 2 cats.

17) What are you afraid of?

The dark. I am 23 and have a night light.

18) Are you outgoing or shy?

Depends. I am usually very outgoing, but in some situations I can be extremely shy. In High School I wasn’t shy in the least, but a little older and slightly more mature I am more shy.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

Who could possibly ever think a clown was cute? Scary

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

Bigger boobs, lol

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

Partner, no one wants me as their conscience

22) What color eyes do you have?

Green

23) Ever been arrested?

Nope

24) Bottle or can soda?

Can, there is something about a can that makes me happy.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

I would pay off my car

27) What's your favorite place to hang out?

The bath tub

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes I do

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Exercise

30) Do you swear a lot?

Nope. I haven’t sworn yet this year. Hopefully I can make it the whole year.

31) Biggest pet peeve?

Unstable people! You never know if they like you that day or not. One second happy, then angry, then sad. No one should ever have to wonder what mood you’re going to be in.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Quirky

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

Of course!

34) Favorite and least favorite food?

Favorite is Mexican and least is V8

35) Do you believe in God?

Yes!

36) Favorite 3 books?

Ender’s Game, A Wrinkle in Time, The Giver

37) Do you believe in Soul mates?

I believe in meeting people that you knew in a previous life. When you meet those people there is that automatic connection and chemistry.

38) Favorite Color?

I don’t have one, but I love to decorate with red and wear pink.

39) Favorite movie?

I could never choose a favorite movie! I love all Disney Movies, most drama and science fiction. There aren’t a lot I don’t like, but I tend to over analyze movies and if I find a flaw it really gets to me.

40) Any obsessions?

I have a small organizing obsession. I love storage containers and have a container for everything.

41) What do you hate doing?

Cooking. Oh it is so horrible!

41) What sound makes you cringe?

Chewing on ice, biting popsicles, or scratching ice off windows. I have really sensitive teeth and the sound makes my teeth hurt. Even writing this is making me cringe!

42) Family or friends?

I have to have both! I love my family because they are there for me no matter what, but I am definitely someone that has to have a social life.

43) How many kids do you want? Girls/boys?

As many as I can love, provide plenty for and give all my attention. I will take whatever gender God blesses me with.

44) Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you?

Oh my gosh! Yes! There was this boy that liked me so much and I was not into him. He wrote this song about how I led him on and broke his heart and sang it to my entire apartment. Things got really awkward because we all knew it was about me. I just smiled and said, “Wow, that girl sounds like a brat!”

45) What was your childhood nickname?

My dad called me Rooskin. (Don’t ask)

46) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Today

47) Have you ever bitten your toenails?

Hahahaha! I am totally ashamed to say yes.

48) How do you eat your cookie?

I eat around the edges and save the center for last

48) At which store would you like to max-out your credit card?

A BMW car lot

49) Have you ever been kissed under fireworks?

Yes.

50) What items could you not go without during the day?

I honestly could sit on the couch butt naked all day if I had to, as long as no one has to see or smell me I could go without anything.

51) Do you think too much or too little?

Way too much. I am always thinking and imagining something. It makes sleeping difficult.

52) Where are your feet right now?

Right under my butt. I always sit on my feet.

53) Do you believe in fairy tales?

Yes I do! and I believe everyone deserves to have a fairy tale ending.

54) Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?

My Best Friend Haley and I celebrated our ten years of friendship in November.

55) What's the most you have spent on your hair?

Oh boy! This nut ruined my hair and I paid $135 for it. She bleached the whole thing blonde right before my wedding. So embarrassing! My co-workers said I looked like a “White Rat”

56) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

On my Anatomy Professor, he was adorable and he let me retake the final twice.

57) Have you ever peed in public?

Yes, my friends and I have bladder problems. Apparently it isn’t normal.

58) Do you walk around the house naked?

No on wants to hear about me walking around my house naked.

59) What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?

I drop my purse on the cabinet and start eating something

60) Have you ever been a bully?

I hate bullies

61) What is your favorite Holiday?

Christmas

62) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Nope

63) What color is your room?

Bright, blinding green and I want to paint it

64) What was the last movie you watched?

Toy Story 3

65) Has anyone ever called you lazy?

I call myself lazy all the time

66) Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?

Mmmmmmm, chocolate

67) What movie do you know every line to?

Toy Story 3

68) Do you read for fun?

yes!

69) Do you cry a lot?

Depends on the time of my life. I can go months without crying and then sometimes I cry over silly commercials, lol.

70) How many hours of sleep do you need to function?

Nine, I totally need so much sleep.

71) Are you picky about spelling and grammar?

Have you read my blog? I have terrible grammar. Although, some grammar mistakes make me cringe: Then than. Your, you’re. There, their, they’re. A lot. etc.

72) Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?

I get along with everyone

73) Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?

Tummy

74) Do you have a bubble?

I have no personal space at all

75) What political party are you? Who did you vote for for President?

Ralph Nader and I am independent

76) On average, what do you think you cry about the most?

Losing Lincoln

77) What's going on between you and the last person you kissed?

It is going on

78) Are you talkative?

I don’t talk a lot around my family but my friends can’t get me to shut up.

79) Do you announce when you have to pee?

Yep

80) Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Oh gosh, I really wish I was. I am like an open book and people say my face is “very expressive”

81) Do you trust people easily?

Nope, it’s a problem I have

82) Do you smile a lot?

Yep. My coach in high school never thought I was running hard enough because I was always smiling. He called me “happy Heather”.

83) Do you give out second chances easily?

I give out 2nd, 3rd, 4th and forever chances. I am a very forgiving person.

84) One thing you're looking forward to?

Growing old with the person I love

85) How do you feel about change?

I love change! I like to have excitement in my life and change always brings in so many new things.

86) Are you ticklish?

Not at all

87) Mints or chewing gum?

Mints! I can only chew gum for a few minutes cause it always loses its flavor and then I feel like I am chewing nasty spit.

88) What do you do all the time in a car?

Sing and listen to music really loud

89) Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?

Several times. I have even changed my entire ward robe while driving.

90) What is one thing you miss about your past?

I miss having Santa bring me presents

91) Who was the last person to make you cry?

myself

92) Do you care what people think of you?

Too much. I wish I cared less.

93) Are you happy with your given name?

Yea
94) What is your guaranteed weeping movie?

The Notebook
95) What is the one thing you like to do alone?
Take baths

96) What do you carry with you at all times?
Cell phone, purse, wallet things, perfume

97) How do you eat an apple?
I usually slice it into wedges

98) What kind of first impression do you think you give people?
Happy and energetic

99) What should you be doing instead of this?
Changing Lincoln’s diaper

100) Who was the last person who called you?
My sister Denell (she is basically my best friend)

101) Are you ready?
Always ready and prepared for action

102) What is the last gift you gave someone?
I gave Lincoln a bike

103) Does everything happen for a reason?
No, everything happens because of people’s choices.

104) Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Yep, I always want people to feel comfortable and happy around me

105) What kind of watch do you wear?
Don’t even own a watch

106) What’s one car you will never buy?
I don’t like to say never cause it always seems to happen.

107) Would you die to save the life of someone you dearly love?
Yes, I would die to save the life of someone I “just loved”

108) What was the last thing you typed before this survey?
A different blog post

109) What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
I play with things in my hands

110) Name ONE trait you hate in a person.
Pride

111) What’s one thing you’re a loser at?
Baseball

112) When is the last time you made someone cry?
Today. I told Lincoln no.

113) Do you like the rain?
I LOVE the rain! I love kissing, dancing, jumping, running and crying in the rain.

114) Who was the last person you talked to in person?
Lincoln
115) What are your plans for the weekend?
Hanging with my family

116) How much money would it take for you to give up the internet for a year?
Like no, no internet? I would have to get paid $12,853.

117) How long have you known your best friend?
10 years, 9 years, 8 years, and 6 months, I have several best friends.

118) What are you listening to?
Tangled sound track

119) What was the last thing you laughed at?
I went to the park with Lincoln today and went down the slide. My feet got stuck under me and I totally fell onto my chest right off the slide. I started laughing really hard and all the other moms looked at me like I was crazy, hahahaha, still laughing.

120) What do you wish you were doing right now?
I wish I was on a beach tanning and playing in some sweet waves.

121) What musical instrument do you wish you could play?
The guitar

122) What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
I get to spend the entire day with my Lincolnator

123) What's on your bedroom floor right now?
Nothing. Clean, clean.

124) What's currently bothering you?
My head is hurting. This is a lot of questions and I really need to change Lincoln’s smelly diaper.

125) Are your toe nails painted pink?
Haha, yes! How did you know? This is getting weird.

126) Are you close with your mom?
Yep.Even though I see her twice a week we still talk on the phone every day.

127) When were you last outside?
About an hour ago

128) What time did you go to sleep last night?
11:00

129) Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Because I kind of like him, lol
130) What were you doing at 8 am?
Getting ready for the day

131) Last text message from?
Natabug

132) Are you happy right now?
Yes, very, very happy

133) Do you wear the seatbelt in the car?
Mostly always

134) What is your favorite word?

Super

135) What do you hate?

Violence, talking about violence, violent movies, people who think violence is cool.

136) Favorite Song

“I’ll Follow You into the Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie

137) How much do you weigh?

Well ain’t that personal, haha! I weigh 107.

138) What is your natural hair color?

Brown…. I think

139) Who do you love?

Everyone!

140) Do you get embarrassed easily?

Yes and no. My face tends to go a nice shade of red over silly things, but I usually can laugh off the bigger embarrassments.

141) If your life could be any movie genre, what would it be?

Action/ hero? I would love to have super hero powers and be some secret undercover agent. I have already thought out the whole thing. If you would like more details, just ask.

142) Favorite fast food

I am really liking Wendys. I use to refuse to eat there, but now I am always craving it.

143) Are you a fighter?

Not at all. I am real passive. I can be feisty, but for the most part if there is a fight or argument I take the back seat. I get really scared and when I try to argue I end up crying and looking silly.

144) What is your biggest regret in life?

I regret being a brat to my parents in high school

145) What are your favorite sounds?

Lincoln running barefoot across the wood floors. Rain on metal roofing. Lincoln laughing so hard he can’t stand up. The dryer. My mom cooking. Running water. Fans in the summer. The heater in the winter. Wind. My dad’s chuckle. Waves.

146) Would you rather be with someone you don’t love or live without the person you do love?

I would rather live with someone I don’t love. I can’t imagine not being with the person I love, it wouldn’t be worth living at all.

147) What do you consider old age?

I don’t believe in being old! You are as old as you want to be. I am and always will be a kid at heart. I love toys, pretending, imagining, having fun, laughing uncontrollably, playing games, opening presents, coloring, Holidays, singing nursery songs, Disney Land, cartoons and eating candy.

148) Who is your one best friend?

I have many best friends, but if I had to name one it would be Lincoln.

149) Do you get over dressed or underdressed for things?

Overdressed. People are always asking, “What are you all dressed up for?” and my answer is always the same, “Because I got out of the house”. I don’t understand why people go out in public looking like they rolled out of bed. I want people to see me at my best and never wonder if I am having a good day. If I look good then they assume I am good.

150) What is one thing we should know about you?

You should probably know that I love my Savior Jesus Christ. I live my life for him because of him and plan on making it back to him.

Basketball Party!

2011-04-10T12:10:00.001-07:00

Time for the coolest birthday party ever!!!!!!

Cake Time!

I forgot to buy black food coloring and so I poured an entire container of green and blue food coloring in the frosting hoping it would go black. Not smart. It not only dyed my hands green, but took part in destroying my shirt, pants, jacket, and cabinet tile grout.

Lincoln thought it was pretty awesome that we all sang to him and then placed fire in front of his face. Once they were blown out he wanted “more” so we went for round two.

Cohen really wanted to blow out the candles.

Present time! Lincoln got really REALLY spoiled!

The Piñata: I made one in second grade and it looked great. Over the last 15 years I lost my mad piñata making skills. The balloon deflated and it ended up looking like a crumpled mess of crusty newspaper.

I found some road orange paint and stuck blue streamers off of it to hide the sunken mess. It totally looks like a basketball, right? RIGHT?!

Ryan almost peed his pants from laughing. Well he might have, I didn’t ask.

What would be a party without the family narcoleptic passing out from laughing?

I say it wouldn’t be a party at all. Kolby ran in for some candy, I grabbed a shot or two, and Ryan hit her with the piñata.

Can you feel the love?

YAY! Grab the candy!

And last but not least we pulled out the birthday pony….. wait did I say pony? I meant dirt bike. Everyone got a ride, even lil Karter.

Happy Birthday Lincoln! It has been the best two years of my life!

The Best Birthday Party Lincoln Was Ever Invited to!

2011-04-03T18:42:00.001-07:00

My best friend’s little boy Bennett Turned 2! She through him a birthday party at McDonald’s!

Something about playing on McDonald’s toys when your much too old and much too big gives me the feeling of complete bliss. The only smelly thing about playing in tubes in a confined space is the stench of feet, which Haley happily admitted to being the cause of. When your moms are best friends, your kind of meant to be best friends too!

The thing I LOVED most about this party was being with my “other family”. They are a blast, especially Haley’s dad who is “a big kid in old skin” I didn’t say it, he did.

The happy family of three. Matt is on the computer. I thought it was pretty sweet he got to be there to celebrate too.

What’s better than Ice-cream cake? When you put it in a shoe box and take it home. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Exhausted

2011-03-29T10:09:00.001-07:00

Here is to me being completely honest……

I am tired. Very tired. My hair looks like something out of “Edward Scissors hands,” my nice tan has faded, I smell like I haven’t showered, cause I haven’t, and the chance of me putting on makeup today or actually getting dressed is about as likely as Lincoln being potty trained.

Why am I so tired?

Simple, I am working two jobs until my 2 weeks notice is up. I am working over 55 hours a week and because I am determined to prove that work won’t affect my other responsibilities I have managed:

To keep my house spotless and kept up on all extra cleaning including the laundry, scrubbing toilets, vacuuming daily, dusting, mopping, grocery shopping and well everything in between.

And most importantly comes Lincoln. I worry so much that my working will affect his happiness that I have made sure every moment with him is special. Library, park visits, stroller rides, trampoline time and making cookies and treats together.

But then I started doing something that every mother swears not to do, allow her child to sleep in her bed.

Yep, I started that nightmare.

I hear him cry and I start thinking of all the reasons he is crying:

He is crying because he has a horrible mom

He doesn’t know where he is any more because he gets babysat in two different houses.

He misses me

…..sooooooooo…..

I run to his recue and hold him in my arms and take him back to bed with me because I want to snuggle with my baby and make up for the hours I was away from him.

and the next night it happens again

and again

and soon I have created this sweet sleeping monster that tosses and turns and pushes me off the bed and takes my pillow and has to have his head on mine and talks in his sleep and kicks me and while he is getting plenty of sleep I am getting none.

but I can’t STOP because there is nothing more sweet than watching him sleep.

And this morning while half my body was on the bed and the other was on the night stand I realized I can’t do it anymore. After a short two weeks, I am simply too tired. So I refuse to clean, or shower or do anything but spend my day playing with Lincoln.

Tonight is my last night at Taco Bell *sigh of relief* and things might calm down enough that I will be strong enough to leave Lincoln in his bed. Hopefully.

Sorry about me complaining! There are plenty of single moms out there that work and do it all and I honestly am in complete awe for them.

Here are some pictures of Lincoln at the park. He looks bald! haha!

Summer is here if you want it to be

2011-03-21T11:35:00.001-07:00

We decided today was the start of Summer.

After playing for a while Scott disappeared into the garage.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he tried kicking my dirt bike to life.

“I am going to ride it”

“And where exactly are you planning to ride it?” I motioned to the two feet of snow surrounding our house.

“I am going to ride it in the snow” he said ignoring me rolling my eyes.

“Yea cause that makes a lot of sense” I said with my arms across my chest. At least this was going to be interesting.

15 minutes later: He instantly got stuck

“Did you really think this was going to work?” I said laughing.

“It will work. I just have to get it to the shade alright!”

In the mean time: Lincoln and I soaked up some sun in the hammock.

15 more minutes later: Scott was still determined to ride his bike in the snow.

“Will you just help me carry it to the shade?” he asked.

“Nope, I refuse to be associated with this idea.”

“But the mini wants to ride in the snow!” he begged.

“The mini wants to sit in the garage”

“No it doesn’t. You don’t know what the mini wants.”

“The mini doesn’t know what it wants, cause the mini is a bike!”

In the mean time: Lincoln and I jumped on the trampoline.

15 more minutes later: Scott was still trying to ride his dirt bike in the snow.

“I told you I could ride it in the snow” he said pushing it.

“The snow is melting faster than you’re moving”

In the mean time: Lincoln and I raced each other

15 more minutes later: Scott still thought he was riding in the snow

“I can now say I rode a dirt bike in the snow” he said proudly.

“You never rode it! Your feet didn’t even leave the ground!” I said irritated.

“You’re just mad cause you are wrong”

“You didn’t ride it! You dragged it!”

I am right, he is wrong.

Always Drain the Tub

2011-03-13T12:00:00.001-07:00

While doing laundry Lincoln kept running from the kitchen and down the hall.

I was busy.

He was busy.

He was happy.

I was happy.

When he didn’t return one round, I went to see what he was destroying.

He decided to take a bath……. again

Along with every measuring cup in the house.

They needed cleaned anyways, they were looking dusty in my drawer.

The Whole Grain Problem

2011-03-11T10:55:00.000-08:00

WARNING: TMI post

Now that I have been adding whole grains to our diet in an attempt to be healthier, I will admit I have over done it.

Wednesday Dinner
Me: I made whole wheat German pancakes!
Scott: yay (said sarcastically)
Me: These are better than the original ones! Eating healthy even tastes yummier!
Scott looking grumpy: The only reason they taste better is because you dumped a cup of syrup on them.
Me: Stop being so negative
Scott: All I do is poop now.
Me: It's healthy to poop
Scott: All the time?! I eat whole grains for breakfast, lunch, dinner and even my snacks have turned all whole grainy!
Me: Don't be so dramatic

Last nights dinner:
Me: I made whole grain soup!
Scott: This is no longer normal.
Me: It tastes waaaay good if you ignore the chunks, whole wheat flour tends to clump.
Scott: If I eat anymore whole grains I am going to turn into a cow.
Me (chewing on whole wheat garlic bread): It's healthy.
Scott: I don't even notice when I poop!
Me: That doesn't even make sense scott.
Scott: I think you're trying to kill me!
Me: Wait til month 6 of being healthy, then you can complain
Scott looking scared: What is month 6?
Me: Hyrdrogenated oils
Scott blinking excessively: unless that involves making me constipated I refuse.

Lunch Today:
Me(making Scott's sandwich): This is a very healthy sandwich.
Scott staring at the mayo with surprise: Whole Grain Mayo!?!?

Maybe we have too much fiber in our diet. Maybe.

“Water for Elephants” Movie

2011-03-10T12:20:00.001-08:00

I LOVE books!

I LOVE movies!

I HATE when they make a movie out of my favorite book and ruin it!

HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT!

Yes, I am basically throwing a tantrum right now!

One of my favorite books ever is getting made into a movie and I am beyond angry! “Water for Elephants,” and I am terrified the movie is going to slaughter it! Not everyone has read this book, unlike freaking “Twilight” that has been read by every teenage, boy crazy, hormonal and unstable girl. Ruin THAT book, not this one. Oh wait you already ruined that book, huh.

Oh and it gets worse! Yes WORSE!

Remember how horrible the “Twilight” movies are? Remember that Robert Pattinson is the star of the movie? Remember how he can’t act and has zero personality?

He is going to be the lead role in this one too!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to die! ok, ok, I am being a little dramatic, but still I don’t want my favorite book to be ruined by “that guy”.

Thankfully Reese Witherspoon is going to be starring in it with him so I am kind of excited for that. So for all those who have never heard of the book and plan on watching the movie….. read the book first! It is amazing!

I’ll admit, there are the movies that I like better than the books, “Lord of the Rings”, “Chronicles of Narnia”, “The Notebook” to name a few. There are also the books I have read and I am excited they made movies out of them like “Harry Potter” and “Series of Unfortunate Events”.

and of course I am going to go see “Water for Elephants” in the theatre and I am hoping that it turns out to be the BEST MOVIE EVER! I really don’t want this book to be ruined so I am crossing my fingers that the producers can pull it off!

Does anyone else feel the same about books getting made into movies?

Kolby’s Baptism

2011-03-05T13:33:00.001-08:00

We are so proud of Kolby for getting baptized! Congrats!

“My Babies”

2011-03-03T12:38:00.001-08:00

Whenever Lincoln wants to watch Toy Story 3 he says, “My Babies” and we get his Buzz and Woody and his Toy Story chair and he watches his movie.

I think it is SO adorable!

Walking Criminal

2011-03-01T13:07:00.001-08:00

Last night I got off work earlier than I expected and without a ride, I decided to walk. I was wearing black pants and my white high school hoodie that says 05 in giant red numbers. Basically, I looked EXTREMELY scary (said sarcastically).

I was getting close to home when a police car drove by and did a quick U-turn in the road. He stopped the car and began flashing his lights.

“I think he is pulling me over” I thought confused and began walking towards his car.

“Stay where I can see you!” he shouted, getting out of his car and shining his giant flashlight on me.

He didn’t have to worry about me moving. His use of his light was enough to scare me out of my mind!

“I need you to move your hands out of your pockets, verrrrrry slowly” he explained still pointing his light at me like it was some kind of gun.

I stared at him and I could feel my eyes begin to water, I was so scared that maybe a subconsciously was doing something wrong. “I think he is going to take me to jail for walking” I thought.

I pulled them out and showed him my empty hands.

“What’s in your pocket he demanded? Is it a gun?”

“Just my cell phone,” I whispered on the brink of tears. I reached towards my pocket to retrieve it. Not a very smart move.

“Put your hands on you head!” he said loudly. My hands flew up. I was standing frozen in the road looking like a criminal as a few cars drove by. I was really hoping no one knew me.

“Why are you out walking at this time of night?” he asked.

“I am on my way home from work.”

“It’s too cold to be walking” he accused, not believing this very well thought out lie.

I didn’t know what he wanted me to say.

“Sorry?” I responded still holding my hands on my head and sniffling.

“You’re eyes are red and you look like you have been crying.” he seemed irritated by my reaction.

“I am just cold. Can I go?” I bit my lip fighting back the tears. I really didn’t want to go to jail.

“I need to check you for weapons. Keep your hands behind your head and lean over the car” I did what I was told.

“Do you have needles in your pockets?” he asked before checking them.

“No, why would I have needles in my pocket?" He didn’t respond but instead began patting my body down.

“Do you have a gun? Do you have any knifes?”

I was going to ask if I looked like the type of person to have a gun, but then I remembered he was patting me down and I should assume that I in fact looked like the type of person to have a gun.

“I can give you a ride if you want one” He said disappointed after finding no weapons or drugs on me.

“Sure, I’ll take a ride.” I said out of fear because I really didn’t want to get in the car with this guy.

“I am going to need to check your purse then. It’s procedure. You’re not in trouble” but by the tone of his voice I felt like I was in trouble.

“Ok” I handed over my purse.

He began searching my purse and pulled out a jar of applesauce. Yes I had a big jar of applesauce in my purse. Don’t ask. He looked at it with this strange expression before opening it and sniffing it. That’s when the entire situation became very silly and I felt a laugh rise in my throat and I began laughing.

“Alright, you can have a ride” He ignored my laughs and opened the back door.

I don’t know why but I got really excited about being in his car!

“I’ve never ridden in a cop car before!” I exclaimed bouncing a little in my seat and looking around the car with interest.

He grunted.

“That is probably a really good thing right?” I said happily tapping on the glass that separated us, “cause that means I’ve never done anything,” I added when he didn’t respond.

“I need your address” he said cutting me off and obviously regretting ever pulling me over.

Once we made it to my house he took my license and information before calling it in. Soon he let me out of the car.

“Thanks for the ride, next time you should use the siren” I chirped happily.

“Mommy I’m Stuck”

2011-02-28T15:04:00.001-08:00

New Hair

2011-02-26T21:00:00.001-08:00

My Magic Trick!

2011-02-22T16:47:00.001-08:00

I have started this new thing that works like magic!

Whenever Lincoln is throwing a tantrum

or crying

or screaming

or basically being two

I grab the camera and snap a picture

and suddenly he is smiling

Almost makes me think that he is a lil angel

BUT I know better!

Worst Rash Ever!

2011-02-17T14:06:00.001-08:00

“Butt”

2011-02-16T13:00:00.001-08:00

Scott has this terrible habit of slapping me on the butt

He thinks it’s funny

I do not

Lincoln thinks it’s funny

I do not

Lincoln slaps me on the butt now and thinks it’s funny

I do not

and try as I might I just can’t get this child to stop. He thinks it’s hilarious and whenever he does it, Scott busts up laughing. This only encourages his behavior.

I have tried to explain to Scott in EVERY possible way that it is not “ok” and people are going to think we are a very messed up family. I am sure several of you are shaking your heads in disapproval, proving my point.

Anyways, Lincoln stopped doing it for awhile….sigh of relief

***************************************************************** Today we went to WalMart on one of our classic trips. I filled my cart with toilet paper, milk, wipes, cleaner, bread and diapers and decided to take a quick stop in the toy section.

Lincoln LOVES the toy section and I usually let him roam around and admire all the cars, trucks and balls. I do my personal admiring of toys I wish I had.

Now, I don’t blame him for what happened next. I was busy playing with “Rex” from Toy Story 3 and Lincoln was about five feet away making sound affects for a Tonka truck.

As soon as his “sound affects” stopped I looked up and everything went in slow motion. Just inches from his little face, bent a larger lady in black spandex pants showing her very voluptuous rear end. She had to be in her late 50’s and whatever possessed her to squeeze into those pants, I will never know. I knew what was going to happen next, and I could tell by Lincoln’s bent upward, frozen head. He seemed to be in complete awe. Then just as suddenly his hand swung forward and “SLAPPED” that lady hard. She sprung upward squeezing her legs together and twisted around to glare at the culprit.

When she saw that it was a sweet, innocent baby she looked frantically for his mother. I went through this brief moment of options. One was an image of me smacking my husband, which at the moment was not going to help me. The other was me pretending I didn’t know who this “perverted” child was, but unfortunately I’m not fast enough and she could tell by my open, horror struck mouth that I was the mother.

Her face was on fire, a mixture of embarrassment and rage, “Did he just?” she asked mystified.

I shook my head no, and then nodded yes and then shook my head no again.

If you would have seen her face you would have done what any good Christian, loving mother would do. And that’s exactly what I did. I grabbed my purse from my cart, picked my son up and ran from the store. I didn’t bother looking back and I’m sure the employees will be upset at my full abandoned cart.

When I made it to my car and opened the door I stared at Lincoln who was smiling. He was enjoying this entire adventure.

“No Lincoln, we don’t do that!” I said shakily.

His huge smiling response was predictable, “BUTT”.